Welcome to my brain, or on mortality (7/1/2019)

I sometimes feel the pressure of having to write and keeping my readers somehow updated with my thinking and my feelings. The problem is that at times, I just sit there and have very little to say. But then I am reminded of that article or blog I read once that said, even if you do not have to say anything keep writing, because practice makes perfect; moreover, who knows, something profound may come pouring out (so there may be hope). I wrote about that or about writing in general before <here>, <here>, <here> and <here>.

I have been in a funk since all the things that happened in May. Yes, I am slowly digging myself out of the hole, but hitting another landmark birthday recently (on that same day, my birthday, my father-in-law had a heart attack, he is OK), and now having a horrible backache with the pain shooting down my legs and actually numbing my toes does not really help either. You heard the saying “two steps forward, one step back,” or is it “one step forward, two steps back?” I just hope it is the former, not the latter. Interesting fact here the “f” in former stands for first (now get your mind out of the gutter) and the “l” in latter stands for last of the two choices. I had to look this up and here I learned something today.

However, the pain in my back was so bad that I actually begged my wife to kill me. Thank goodness, we do not own a weapon that could easily accomplish such a task. Moreover, while I would be out of my misery, her misery would just begin after a mercy killing like that. But all the sudden I realize that here we have hit a number of issues in this short essay including euthanasia, writing, gun control, sickness, depression; I could really be off to the races with any of these subjects. I could even combine them. I guess that is why the advice was to just start writing and see where you end up.

Sitting at the doctor’s office with this wonderful back of mine, I was confronted with my mortality. There were only three other folks in the waiting room. On one side of me was a young woman, who I overheard, thanks to my newly acquired hearing aids (a sign of old age and lots of rock music), was telling the receptionist that she was born in 1997. A quick calculation told me that she must be 22 or 23, a fresh young green leaf (she did not look ill). Across from me was an older couple, much older than I am, the woman of the couple could hardly walk in, complaining that she was burning up and very sick. She looked like a leaf ready to fall off the tree. This past week I am not sure where I was in the season of leaf development.

One wonders so now and then: at what stage of life are you, and from what angle will the wind blow and how hard will it blow and can you hang on?

Also in the waiting room, I was threatened with a 2013 article in BizNews that had the following headline: “Retire at 55 and live to 80; work till you’re 65 and die at 67. Startling new data shows how work pounds older bodies.” I guess, I already (for the first time in all these years) admitted to being old in this post. Actually, I just turned 66 and if you are a regular reader, you know that I am not retired. Does this mean I have less than a year to live? I hope not. However, if these posts stop all the sudden, you know what happened to me: my time was up. 

Honestly, my mortality does not keep me awake at night. What keeps me up lately are my back and things I am working on at work, like course design. But, death is not one of them. I know it is going to end one of these days, and hopefully I have at least 20 more years. I would like to leave a legacy, with my teaching, my thinking, my writing, and maybe with some of my photographs (sorry, I am not wealthy). I know that I cannot take anything with me; moreover, when I am dead, I am dead. I do not believe in an afterlife, a heaven or a hell. I believe that we better create our heaven here on earth, and leave a livable heavenly earth behind for our children and grandchildren, something a lot of folks seem to forget. One thing is for sure, the earth's environment might be ruined if we don't do anything about it quickly. We cannot just sit, lean back any longer, take a wait and see attitude, wondering what will happen.

Reading the book "Braiding Sweetgrass" by Robin Wall Kimmerer, I came to an interesting passage comparing the Judeo-Christian "Eve" and the Native American "Skywoman." Both are seen as the founding mothers of their respective religions. While Skywoman was sent to plant it and tend to it, creating a wonderful environment for her descendants. Eve, on the other hand, was sent in exile from the Garden of Eden for eating from the forbidden fruit, the fruit of knowledge. I never looked at it that way, I always thought of it more like the attitude of Francis Bacon and man's dominance over the natural world. Instead, according to Kimmerer, for Judeo-Christians it is more like who gives a crap about this world, I want to go back to the Garden of Eden or maybe that's called heaven. Who cares if we fuck up this world, this is exile country, we don’t belong here. An interesting view on religion and environmentalism, isn’t it?

Oh well, here we are back to one of the subjects dear to my heart: protecting the world, the environment, for that 22 or 23 year old "green leaf" in the doctor's office, so she can enjoy it for another 60 years, and for her children after that. But at times it is so hard to see that we are making any headway (two steps back). Having a president who claims we have the best climate and best environment in the world, knowing all too well that the air quality has deteriorated over the past two years thanks to his policies and the EPA turning back environmental regulations.

All I can say my friends is: welcome to my brain (if you ever want to send me a hat to protect it: size extra-large) and my often non-linear way of thinking. This is how I sometimes connect the dots, especially when it is somewhat clouded by muscle relaxants, my mortality and the mortality of others around me.  If you wonder about the time you wasted on reading this blog, don't worry, the next one will be more on subject.

Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world (2/21/2018)

It was Henry David Thoreau who wrote: “When I would recreate myself, I seek the darkest wood, the thickest and most impenetrable and to the citizen, most dismal, swamp. I enter a swamp as a sacred place, a sanctum sanctorum… I seemed to have reached a new world, so wild a place…far away from human society. What’s the need of visiting far-off mountains and bogs, if a half-hour’s walk will carry me into such wildness and novelty.” There is such a richness in this phrase that I want to sit back and take it apart.

The words “recreate myself” did he mean recreation as going on vacation or what we do in the present like going for a walk. Or, on the other hand, did he actually wanted to start from scratch and reinvent himself; did he have enough of it all and start all over again? Is this the same concept? 

What did he do? He entered nature; the darkest woods, the thickest, and most impenetrable. Something he calls a sanctum sanctorum that is far away from human society, but only a half hour away.

It seems though, that this is what Thoreau needed to recharge when he needed to get away from the craziness of the world and everything around him. It is in those woods that he had his cabin and spend a year as a monk living and observing and writing about the novelty.

Nina Beth Cardin wrote in the Bay Journal about her changing views of nature, which she calls enchantment. Her love deepened after learning more about what she was actually seeing in her back yard. As she describes it the trees, lichens, fungi, and later on from splitting and burning wood.

The phrase “Knowledge is Power” is often attributed to Francis Bacon, and readers of my blog know that I have quoted him (and this particular phrase) before, but I think Ms. Cardin shows evidence of that. A deeper knowledge and understanding of what you see often enhances the enjoyment. I am sure this is what Thoreau experienced and many others do too when they learn more about a subject. Anyway, this is one of the objectives of my blog. While I do not want to be too school-teacher-like in my blogs, I do hope that I can help some of you understand some of my love for nature, for biology, ecology and the environment in general. The other night in yoga, we had to concentrate on a word on what we wanted to think about ourselves and the first word that came to mind was educator.

Why is this so important to me? I like to mirror what Ms. Cardin quoted the botanist Liberty Hyde Bailey who wrote 100 years ago: “One does not act rightly toward one’s fellows if one does not know how to act rightly toward the earth.” I too strongly believe in the importance of the inner connectedness that we humans have with the earth and nature. When stressed and upset, going into the woods is my way of de-stressing; forest bathing is such an important thing for me. Yes there are the volatile chemicals (phytoncides) breathe in, but there is so much more. John Muir wrote: “Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.” When I spend time in nature I enter a different place every step I take I enter that new world and I renew, recreate inside; the worries of world slide off my shoulders.

"Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world" (John Muir)

All I can say is: go out and enjoy nature. Yes, it is more fun when you know what you are looking at, but you don’t have to. More important is to let nature come over you. You may need to protect yourself against bugs, but in most cases that is the scariest thing you'll encounter. Go ahead ask me questions about nature, I will try to answer in the hope to increase your enjoyment of nature. But remember, you can enter that new world too and it does not have to be two pines!

I’ll stop learning when I’m dead (6/13/2017)

So here I am doing one of the more stressful parts of my job: auditing the courses people submit to us as part of their recertification requirements.  I wrote about it before <here>, but when a course does not qualify, I contact them and tell them that I will be removing it from their record and that they will need to take another class.

Here is a response I received: “That is very disappointing to hear.  I will be sure not to attend any future presentations by Mr. B…”  Suffice it to say we had a big laugh about this one in our office; what a baby.  It was only one hour of the 18 hours this person needed to accumulate over 3 years.  When I teach a whole day class they get 6 hours.

But then it struck me, how sad!  These are those people that I talk about in some of my my posts (and what I hint at in the title of this post); they come to my classes, sit in the back and either constantly browse on their phone (Facebook, porn?), or have their sunglasses on so you can’t see that they are actually sleeping.  These are those people that go home after a day’s of work grab a six pack of bud light out of the fridge and plop themselves in front of the TV and pass out, even before going to bed.  Their wives (spouses) either have affairs or have gained so much weight because their sex lives have gone to hell anyway, that it does not matter anymore.  This is what a couple of six packs, ESPN, FOX news and maybe a few porn sites during my classes do for them.  Figuratively these people are already dead, but they don’t know it yet, but mentally they are, they stopped learning.

That’s what the title of this blog refers to.  A lot of people that I encounter in my profession sit through my classes but they do not want to learn.  They have no interest in being educated.  They go through the motions.  I wish that I could kick them out, deny them their certificate, but I can’t.  I mention in one of my posts, that the thought that I may educate one or two persons in a class of forty is enough.  Even here that serenity prayer that I introduced in my previous post is applicable:  “Please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I am finishing this post on a well deserved vacation to Newfoundland.  I took this photograph of an iceberg floating off the east coast.  This is what is so important and frustrating to me: global warming, environmental issues, and the "I don't give a damn" attitude of some of my students. 

I may be a dilatant, but it is better than being ignorant.  When I went to graduate school, I did not only take courses that applied to my degree; I went berserk trying to get an education.  This was probably to my detriment, I did not graduate with a 4.0.  My class load was always too heavy, but I wanted to learn as much as I could.  That was important to me, learning!  Getting older, after a full day of work and two and a half hour total commuting I am tired when I come home.  But the least thing I can do is watch a YouTube video here or there about growing or taking care of Bonsais, which is one of my hobbies.  I am trying to learn something there.  I read when my eyes and brain can handle it.  I usually read non-fiction, I want to learn!  At home we rarely watch TV; maybe the news and a cooking or a home show so now and then, but that’s it.  This summer we’ll watch the Tour de France.

It is absolutely amazing that the country where everybody used to look up to for its education, its research and modernity is now cutting education, making fun of people who are educated and is in a race to the bottom, for the lowest common denominator.  A university education was affordable when I came to the U.S. in 1979 to study.  Now they have raised the cost of university education so high that it is out of reach of the common man.  We are creating a tremendous class system in this country between the wealthy educated upper middle class and not so wealthy lower middle class and the working class.  No wonder some talk about “the educational elite” as if it is a stigma.  No wonder we want to go back to burning coal for energy as opposed to developing high-tech means of generating energy.   

Sir Francis Bacon is commonly quoted of first saying that “Knowledge is Power.”  Bacon who lived from 1561 to 1626 is considered the father of scientific method.  For example Thomas Jefferson, himself a(n amateur) scientist, considered Bacon one of the greatest men that had ever lived.  I think it is true that knowledge is important and power.  One of the things I treasure most is learning and knowledge.  When I cannot learn I would die or be dead.  During my commute I listen to Doctor Radio on Sirius-XM, I need to learn; I often joke that by now I could sit for my medical boards and pass them, except I never dissected a cadaver.

All my bitching and moaning aside, learning and knowledge is not only good for you mentally.  It has been shown to slows down our mental decline in old age, helps us socially and may even help us financially.  Finally, when we are all educated, society will benefit as well, only then can we change the world for the better for all and eliminate the great divide between people.  

And we march on (4/24/2017)

And so the Nation marched for science, scientists, science funding and last but not least for Earth Day.  Yes, we marched as well.  No, we did not go to Washington DC this time but we marched in Norfolk.  Our very lame excuse was that the march ended up at the O’Conner’s microbrewery, which brews some of my favorite beer, like I needed an excuse to visit their tasting room again. 

Marching down Granby Street in Norfolk in the name of Science, Curiosity and Earth Day!

Get-together after the march at O'Connors microbrewery

Whatever my excuse was guys, marching and letting our voices heard was important, and maybe showing up in Norfolk was more important than doing so in DC.  Here we could show that the concern was nationwide, as it should be.  The concern is even more urgent so close to the Chesapeake Bay.  Science should not be a partisan thing; neither should be a concern for mother earth, or as I have called it in a previous post: our Blue Marble.  What concerns me is all this talk about future generations when we talk about saddling future generations up with economic debt, but very few want to address the fact that we are saddling future generations up with environmental debt. 

As I mentioned in previous posts these discussions are not new.  Malthus (1798) predicted that we would have to deal with over population and the resulting man-caused disasters (see my previous post about that <here>).  Others claimed it is our world and we can do with it what we want.  Western man’s dominion of nature is as old the bible itself.  But it was Francis Bacon (1561-1626) who articulated this when he claimed that we needed to use science and technology to reclaim our “dominion over creation”; something we had lost when Adam and Eve were "kicked" out of the Garden of Eden.  As I wrote in a May 11, 2016 blog post, John Locke took this a few steps further, and asserts that nature itself has no intrinsic value, but that nature only gains value when we work it.  

This is completely contrary to some of the work I did some 20 years ago which was called "natural resources damage assessment" or NRDA.  One of the questions asked in NRDA is about what the enjoyment of nature is worth to you (the public) personally.  It was particular important in cases like oil spills.  The question became how much enjoyment did that take away from you, because you could not spend time on that beach, or fish?  This goes into the equation to calculate the amount of fines that are being assessed to companies that damage the environment like BP when the had the spill in the Gulf.  If we would follow John Locke's logic the ocean may not be worth anything, or for that matter neither would the Chesapeake Bay.  Or maybe since we are mining it we have dominion over it and we can pollute it to our heart's content.

I think this strange logic is still out there, 500 years later.  Or is it 2000 years later?  Some people still think we can do to the earth what ever we want.  They think we own it.  There is still this thought that any problem can eventually be solved by science, a somewhat Baconeque point of view.  

Instead of seeing nature as a subordinate or worthless, we should have a sense of awe and wonder over nature, and a belief that we humans are part of it.  This is why we were marching this past Saturday, not only to solve these issues by science but to understand the issues (and maybe help with a solution).  By understanding them we maybe able to avoid worsening some of them or avoid starting new ones.  

On a final note, what encouraged my wife and I the most was that during our walk, some of the walkers were actually picking up garbage and eventually deposited the garbage in a dumpster that the found on our route.  They were actually cleaning up the environment as we walked, leaving the world a better place.

Speeches before the start of the march in Norfolk, just an interesting juxtaposition showing that science is apolitical

Random ramblings about the Hampton Roads (5/24/2015)

The Australian kayaker Steve Posselt visited the area this past week.  He is trying to convince the world about the gravity of global warming by kayaking in 3 continents.  He eventually plans to end up in Paris for the next climate conference.   There are many ways people try to focus our attention to a (their) cause: be it dead soldiers with Memorial Day, multiple sclerosis with an MS 180 bike ride (I rode one from Houston to Austin 8 years ago), a breast cancer walk for life, circumnavigate the Americas for disabled sailors, or even kayaking the world to focus attention on global warning.

I have been interested in the issue of how to convince people that environmental responsibility is a must.  It seems that there is a group that is concerned about the environment and a whole group of people who do not seem to give a damn.  Crazy enough they seem to fall out along political or ideological lines, or even religious lines.  That's what's fascinating me.  As I mentioned in my bio, it was Stanford University's psychologist Leon Festinger who wrote the following in the 1950s:  "A man with a conviction is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point."  Call me crazy, but it still applies 60 years later.   I really wonder how to get that paradigm shift, but I'm afraid that they'll only see the point when it is way too late.

The way I see it, it was Francis Bacon (1561-1626) who reminded us that we humans had dominion over " the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.’ (Gen.1:28).  In the Novum Organon, Bacon writes: "Let the human race recover that right over nature which belongs to it by divine bequest."  It is scary to see that in those days we already felt that we owned the earth and that we could do with it what we wanted, with the excuse that God gave us permission (dominion).  Still now do I see Facebook posts by religious friends that tell me to trust God, and to relax because God is in control.  I find this outright scary, but it illustrates the divide that I was writing about; although as I am often reminded by Donna (my wife), dominion over nature does not mean that you do not need to take care of it.  Dominion means you have a responsibility to take care of the eartg.  I honestly do not think that any God would have a plan to let her/his creation go to hell.

Anyway Steve Posselt called our area "This is a staggering part of the world," or as I may paraphrase one of the crown jewels in God's creation.  Below are a set of pictures that I have taken over the years of this crown jewel.  Hopefully we can preserve this beautiful landscape.

View of the James River from Surry towards Jamestown

York River from York River State Park

Sunset over the York River from the National Colonial Parkway

About the cross the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel with my sailboat 

Charlottesville (3/30/2015) ... or about man's dominion over nature.

Monday included another afternoon road trip, this time to Charlottesville for a class I'll be teaching tomorrow.   It was a strange day that started out with a migraine and I was dragging.   Waiting for ever thing to settle down and the pain killer to work, I picked up a book that I've been working through on environmental justice (see the tab on my blog about books I've been reading for the title).  I am reading this book because of an interest I have in how to sell conservation in particular to people who are more cavalier about environmental protection.   I am very passionate when I teach and hopefully I can convert one or two persons and make them respect and protect the natural environment, but I am still frustrated that some people still don't get it.

Reading the book I hit the point on the so called idea that man has been given dominance over the natural environment by our Christian god (Genesis 1:26).  Being a Pantheist, I believe in the Devine in everything and in humans being part of it and not in charge of it.  But, I have often wondered how this thing about human dominion all got started, in particular since that attitude could be so destructive to the environment.  The authors of the chapter I was reading credits John Locke (1623-1704) for this notion, but reading a biography of Locke, it seems that he built on the philosophy of Francis Bacon, who interpreted the bible in such a way.  Granted this was all thought up in the 17th century and we did not know about photosynthesis,  evolution and other great scientific discoveries.

Locke had some other  interesting ideas.  He believed that "Land that is left wholly to Nature, that hath no improvement of Pasturage, Tillage, or Planting is called, as indeed it is, waste, and we shall find the benefit of it amount to little more than nothing"  (Locke 1694, Second Treatise, Sec. 42-43).  In other words, nature itself was worthless and had no function.  Not the brightest idea, but on the other hand, Locke did have some great ideas on religion (tolerance) and private property, and some of his ideas were championed in the Americas.   It seems that Thomas Jefferson was a reader of Locke; and wow, here I find myself in Charlottesville the home of Jefferson.

Locke calculated that improved land derives 99 to 99.9 percent of its value from cultivation rather than from the land itself.  This philosophy still permeates part of our economic system and explains our relationship with nature and public land.

With this notion we are ignoring that:

1. Nature's inherent value apart from human utility,
2. Nature has a psycho-spiritual value,
3. Nature's ability to create (wildlife, natural resources but also oxygen, clean water),  
4. Humans are part of nature.

One of Locke's ideas was about waste.  He be lived that no one should enmass more property than he needed.  Man should not waste land and what he grows from the land; otherwise he had to share is excesses.  So Locke was a property guy who had somewhat socialistic tendencies before socialism was invented.  The biographer tells us that this notion was easily abandoned by Locke's followers with the invention of money.  Now the excess crops, milk or meat could be sold and would not go to waste (the birth of capitalism).

The photo below was taken at Monticello.   I got there 45 minutes before closing and the ticket police would not allow me to go for a short walk in the woods without paying.   Like I would be able to make it all the way up to the mansion in that time and take the free tour.  Oh well.  At least I got to look at the green roof above the gift store.  It is amazing how at least part of our society is finally understanding that Locke was just a reflection of the level of science at time he lived, and that nature has a function and value.  I think it would have been something Thomas Jefferson would have embraced; however, he would probably have grown crops on the roof.