Rooting for the World (7/19/2026)

I have been watching the FIFA World Cup and rooting for the country of my birth, the Congo, which was eliminated; the country where I grew up, Curaçao, also eliminated; the country of my original nationality, the Netherlands, eliminated as well; the United States, the country of my current citizenship, eliminated in a somewhat embarrassing way; and Belgium, because when I was born, the Congo was still a Belgian colony. No wonder I feel somewhat conflicted. Am I a man without a country, a man with too many countries, or simply a man of the world? Let’s assume it is the latter: a man of the world, free to root for any football team I choose.

As you may know, I have traveled extensively, lived in at least eight countries, and experienced a great deal. Let’s not even talk about all the countries I have visited. The other day, at our UU church, we did a word association exercise. When I heard the word “free,” it took me back to a day in late April or early May of 1979. We had been under a two- to three-week siege in Uganda, fearing for our lives almost daily. One day, just after noon, we heard tanks and heavy equipment approaching the front gate of the Leprosy Center where we worked. At first, we feared this might be the end. Then, suddenly, we realized they were Tanzanian soldiers. We had been liberated. We were free. The compound erupted with screaming, celebrating people. It was amazing to witness. We celebrated for the next couple of days. The strangest part came that on the evening of our liberation, when we listened to a Radio Netherlands broadcast. After the news, our names were announced as missing, with a request that we call home if possible. That moment captured what freedom meant.

In every country where I have lived, I have experienced something special—some moment that felt like freedom. I may not remember the earliest ones. We left the Congo when I was one and a half, moved to Belgium, and left there when I was three. Perhaps my birth itself was a kind of freedom: freedom from my mother’s womb and into life. My first real memory of freedom came on December 5, 1956, in Curaçao. I was three and a half years old when my father told me Sinterklaas had brought me a brother. Sinterklaas is the Dutch equivalent of Santa, except that we celebrate him on December 5. My brother was born that day, and I still remember my disappointment. I had asked Sinterklaas for a sister, but he gave me a brother.

The moments when I felt most free during my youth were usually spent in or on the water—swimming or sailing—or alone in nature, strolling through the bush and observing the world around me. I think I was awkward, a loner, and a bit of an introvert, with maybe one or two friends. I was never bullied or ostracized, but I do remember feeling different. My first-grade teacher told my parents, and me, that I was highly intelligent and would become a professor. My second-grade teacher hated me. I received many beatings from her with a ruler. I am sure I was no sweetheart, but she broke a yardstick on my behind almost every week. Corporal punishment was common in those days, especially in her classroom. I complained to my mother, and she told me, “The next time she does it, get up and walk out of the class to the principal.” Well, I got up—but instead of going to the principal, I walked home, more than an hour in the stifling tropical heat. Free at last. The teacher never reported my absence, so my mother eventually reported it to the principal. Things improved after that: freedom from the daily beatings. I still remember the teacher’s first name: Babs.

Has my ultimate freedom come with retirement? I wish. I am now the president of our church, I still have a mortgage, and I now have a loan for the Airstream. In addition, I depend on the government for Social Security and Medicare. I pay taxes and need a license to drive. I had better stop here. No, I am not a libertarian, but I am as free as I can be—or at least as free as I can feel. Maybe freedom is not the absence of obligations, but the moments I spend on the water, in nature, and out in the world: listening to a concert, traveling, and camping. I hope you feel free too.

We were happy to watch Spain win, although it would have been wonderful for Messi and Argentina as well. We had no strong favorite, which left us free to watch the game without bias and without ties to either country.

We were kayaking the other day (after a long hiatus).  It felt great to be on the water again!

I believe in you (07/04/2026)

We are about to celebrate the 250th anniversary of this country that I adopted as my home. We should be celebrating, but why? This country is being run by a narcissistic egomaniac who waged a war and let the other side win. He is only in this game for his glory, and his handlers let him while they pull their racist and capitalistic strings. Our leader is just their puppet as long as they feed his ego and his wallet.

On July 4th we will be celebrating the USA’s independence; the signing of the Declaration of Independence from England. Three of the signers of the Declaration of Independence were Unitarian – my religion-: Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, while Benjamin Franklin had a Unitarian leaning. One of the items that upsets me currently is that Unitarian Universalism was relegated to the ranks of non-religion, and the military does not even allow chaplains from our denomination among their ranks. You can imagine how upsetting this is to me. Our daughter is a Unitarian minister, and she served as a chaplain. Moreover, I have a leadership role in our church at the moment.

All three signers of the Declaration of Independence that I mentioned above, believed in a God, but not in a trinity that most if not all Christians believe in. Over the years this has evolved and after the merger with the Universalists the church embraces all believes including pagans, atheists and humanists. One of my favorite sayings now is that we UUs believe in each other.

How celebratory am I, are you, should we be? I more or less permanently moved here in 1986, and I did not grow up with the 4th. I eventually became a citizen in 1994; studied the constitution and history for my citizen’s test. Ever since I retired as a naturalist instructor, I have been into studying Lewis and Clark, Jefferson, the abolitionist movement, women’s suffrage, and of late Lincoln. I should be celebratory with all that has been achieved in this country and in my life over the years, but I feel lukewarm. It feels like we are going back on all the progress that was made in the past. I feel saddened and concerned.

How about you? I am sure there will be people out there that are celebrating because they think things are going great. Some of you may party because you are just a party animal. Others will be like me ambivalent about the current state of affairs, or just down on it. Whatever you do this weekend, take time to reflect on where we are as a country and maybe even you personally. What do you think is the outlook for the future, again yours, your family, society, this country and the world.

From Transit to Silver Bullet (06/27/2026)

(with some excuses for some repeats).

After three years of camping, we realized we enjoyed it enough to up our game. Our Transit van was a lot of fun, but it had a low roof. As we often tell people, changing clothes — or putting on clean underwear while lying down on the bed — was getting old. So, we have been looking at campers since we got back from our trip to Michigan last year. We've visited dealers and found a few that we liked. 

And then I started to do my research. Online research can be fun, especially Reddit. There were a lot of good and bad comments about the brands we had been considering. Some folks really liked one manufacturer, others thought that they were crap. Did we want a slide-out? The questions did not stop. Then the questions about weight and tongue weight. What kind of vehicle can tow such a behemoth? Do you need a weight distribution hitch (WDH for short) and anti-sway-bars? We even visited friends to look at their unit and setup; we wanted to know what their experience was. Our heads were spinning. 

We were almost ready to put our money on a 21 foot Imagine. We had some great conversations with the salesperson and were asked to put a refundable $2,000 down to lock it up while still thinking about it. That request turned the tide against the dealer. It felt, if not exactly like a scam, then at least like a way to apply psychological pressure. Then came the advice to have it inspected by a third party, even though it was new. It seems that the dealer that we were talking to did not allow that. And that did it. It even gave us stronger doubts about whether this was the right move. Is this particular dealer selling crap? The somewhat high-pressure sales approach and the refusal to have it inspected made us decide to look elsewhere. We ended up visiting the Airstream dealer that we had visited some 5 years ago. 

Yes, we ended up buying an Airstream. Our decision was based on the looks of these campers, but also on the quality and resale value. They are more expensive, but they felt right. After looking at various models we decided on a World Traveler, and the reason for that was the V-berth like beds, which makes it easier for us old folks to get in and out of bed in the middle of the night. We have now owned it for two and a half months. I wrote the first draft of the current post during our second trip in our new rig, while sitting at a campsite in the mountains of Virginia. All I can say is that this was the ultimate act of self-love, buying a new truck (Ford F-150) and an Airstream; a silver bullet. We named her Abigail, and then I read today that Abigail means: Father’s joy. Wow! 

The new Airstream and truck

What have I learned during these two camping trips, the drive home from the dealership, and the drive back and forth to the dealer for a small warranty job? First, it is definitively an upgrade from the Ford Transit we have camped in during the past three years. But then it is also less maneuverable than the Transit. You have to plan which gas station can handle you and the long setup we now own, or which parking lot is large enough for a shopping trip or lunch. We have to drive slower with a 22 ft (7+ meters) trailer behind us. When it comes to electricity, the camper has 300 watts solar and 200 watts storage in lithium batteries. The second site (Peaks of Otter) we camped at had no hookups (or shore power) and we never ran out of power. That site also had no water, and three days were about the limit of our freshwater tank. I have already researched how we can conserve water and we may be able to stretch it on our next trips. Lastly, we discovered that we are getting older. We are both in our early 70s and noticed that we need more breaks and limit the driving time to less than 4 hours (or less than 200 miles). We are just getting tired much earlier than the good old (younger?) days. Tired drivers are dangerous! 

From here on out, you will get occasional trip reports from an Airstream. We are definitely not slowing down and will report on some of the trips we will be making. Stay tuned!

Relaxing during our second trip

Inherited Distance: When Blood Is Not Enough (05/26/2026)

Recently, I spent an afternoon with friends and learned a lot about family dynamics. She is a good friend of my wife, and her daughter has a lot of issues with her uncle. I am just amazed that there is nothing new under the sun. People fight with each other, especially with those close to you. It reminds me of a saying in my native language: “good neighbors are better than a distant relative.” We have been trying to live our life that way, especially now since we have absolutely no relationship with my siblings, sometimes to my regret, but also often to my relief.

My parents were perfect role models for family feuds; we must have learned it from them.

On my father’s side: Once my uncle Karel died of meningitis in the 1960s, we lost contact with his wife and two kids. It seems my uncle was a player (well taught by their father) and they were about to divorce. When I finally met my cousin in 1971, we were 18, she did not want to acknowledge me, she actually was angry at me at first sight. We ended up in the same classes in college, but she always stayed angry with me and once told me that her mother had told her what scum we were. I finally met her brother around 2001 but he was friendly and told me that she always had an angry outlook on life.

My uncle Willem also screwed around and divorced his wife. They had four daughters and he had a son from the affair. Once they divorced, my parents chose sides against the brother. My father and his brother finally reconciled a year or two before Willem died of cancer. My father always appeared to be sorry that the break lasted so long and that they only had two years to catch up.

On my mother's side: Things were not any better. I previously wrote about how my grandmother mistreated my grandfather and my mother. One of her brothers (Jan) died in a German concentration camp. But eventually my mother broke her relationship with her two remaining brothers. Simon fooled around, got divorced and again there was a choice against him. Eventually my mother did allow him to visit her, but this was a few years before she died at the age of 76. Her other brother Cornelius and mom had a mutual breakup and they never reconciled. The breakup was also wife related, my mom and my aunt could not get along, and the breakup occurred sometime in the 70s and they did not see each other for 30 years although they lived less than 2 miles apart.

I have often wondered why both had these issues. While it is easy to assume what brought it on, my parents did not accept unfaithfulness or divorce, I doubt whether my father was faithful. It is easy to blame my mother, she seemed always angry, had a strong character and was principled, uncompromisable, and stubborn. I should have asked them what made them like this. Now it is too late; they are gone.

In a later post I will eventually chronicle why my siblings and I all broke up. But this post is getting long. We broke up around 2005. Around that time I told my siblings that we were emulating what our parents did with our own interactions. “Fuck you” was my sister emailed me in a response. My brother wrote me: “Now you did it.” In other words, we have not spoken since 2005. Do I miss them? I think about them at times; but I feel that I tried to make amends but was pushed away. I have given up, I will no longer make an attempt on reproachment. I told my wife that I will be open and respond if or when they contact me. I will be friendly but be very cautious and probably will not allow myself to become too close.

What will I recommend you do? Try to treasure your parents, siblings and extended family as much as you can, but don’t let them abuse or bully you, your family, or the life you lead. In an article in Very Well Mind the authors write that if fighting is unavoidable, it is best to not take things personal; find support elsewhere; try not to perpetuate it; invest in your own family; and accept the reality of the situation. I think I have done all these things in my situation. But if all fails get professional help by seeing a therapist. I just hope our daughter breaks the cycle.

My sister and I.  I was probably 11 here in this photograph and she was 2 or 3.

My brother an sister.  We visited the Holland American Line's Rotterdam when it visited Curacao where we grew up.  I think they were 9 and 4 at the time. 

Sucking the Marrow Out of Retirement (05/21/2026)

It has been more than a month since I have written here and updated the world on what I have been up to. I am not planning to stop or disappear from the written word or the world, but these past five to six weeks have been absolutely jam-packed with excitement or activity.

It all started out with the delivery of our new travel trailer or camper: an airstream (model, World Traveler). We got a Ford F-150 the week before, so we had something to tow the airstream with. I drove the airstream home with a friend and backed up into our driveway in the dark. It was all successful. But we had applied for a loan to pay for all this, and that was the stressful part; all the hoops we had to jump through. We can afford all these purchases, but a loan made sense from an investment strategy.

Our neighborhood had a community wide yard sale three days after parking the trailer in our driveway. On a whim, I put a for sale sign on our camper van, and to our surprise we got an offer on the van that we could not refuse. Next was getting the van ready, emptying it. But we also needed to outfit our new rig. On top of that, my wife took off for California to visit the family. Followed by an exciting board meeting at our UU church (of which I am the president) where we decided to follow our principle and spend around $80,000 to put solar on the roof of our church. That weekend we had our annual cluster meeting where all the local UU churches come together. This was followed by a trip to the airport to pick up my wife. Subsequently, we needed to get ready for our shake-down cruise, our first (weekend) camping trip with the new camper, to figure things out. Mixed in to all of this is managing the church contracts for solar and another meeting or two. And here they tell you that life gets slower when you retire.

The word life, reminds me of a YouTube clip I watched where someone old stated something like “I don’t know how much longer I have to live, but I want to make the best of it: I am going to make sure that I use and enjoy the remaining time to the best of my ability.” This reminds me of the words Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden: “Suck out all the marrow of life,” or “when I came to die, discover I had not lived.” I have noticed that you become more aware of your mortality when you grow older. “How much time do I have left” has been going through my head. It hasn’t stopped us from buying the camper; currently I am planning a three-to-four-week trip through the Canadian maritime. I hope to do this early in September. But first an off-grid trip to The Peaks of Otter campground on the Blue Ridge parkway to celebrate our 49th anniversary. Interesting fact, Thomas Jefferson thought that the Peaks of Otter were the tallest mountains in the entire USA.

So yes, life sometimes gets in the way of writing my blog posts, which are a form of diary for myself as well as an update to the rest of the world. I promise I will keep doing this as long as I can; but maybe not that frequent.

The airstream arrived in our driveway!  We are still debating where to place it.

Camping in Westmoreland State Park.  We decided to cook our first meal outside, which we will probably do with more.  It was just very pleasant to be there with the dogs.  Westmoreland is one of our favorite parks.  We have stayed here at least three other times in the cabins.  This is our first time camping. 

Our first meal in the new camper.  We cooked steak, fried potatoes with onions and peas.