The Story of my parents (Part 1) (7/29/2025)

My father was born in 1922 in Rotterdam; he was the youngest of three brothers. I would need to do some research one of these days to figure out if being the youngest had anything to do with how he turned out. It always seemed to me he was always running away from something; maybe not so by the end of his life; but that is even debatable. He committed suicide in 1984, which is a method of getting away from it all; but that is getting ahead of the story.

My grandfather owned a contracting business. I previously wrote about my family’s background in the construction trade in my blog, and the following is a quote from the post:

Uncle Willem (Wim), dad's brother owned a construction company, and when we moved back to the town of Capelle and den IJssel in 1996 he had developed and built almost ¾ of that town. As I mentioned before my opa (grandfather) owned a construction company, as well. However, my uncle Wim built his company on his own, from scratch. My great-grandfather (my grandfather’s father) was also into construction. He was a very skilled carpenter and his claim to fame was that he supposedly built the Bijenkorf (a large department store) in the center of The Hague (Den Haag). This must have been in the early 1900s.

The one thing he told me about his growing up was the meetings that were held at his home. I think they had maybe clandestine meetings of the Dutch communist party. I am not sure if these meetings were held before or after the second World War. He told me about his memory of the singing of the “International”, the communist anthem. He also mentioned often intently listening to Joaquin Rodrigo’s Concerto de Aranjuez; during or after discussions on the Spanish civil war of the 1930s; the same one Hemingway was in. This concert was published in 1939 and first recorded in 1947. My father played it a lot when I was young, telling me that it brought him back to those (post WWII) meetings; to the time, I guess, when he was 25 and about to marry my mother in 1948. The second movement of the piece may actually be a memorial to the bombing of Guernica in 1937.

My father had one best friend, Piet Doornbos and his parents lived in an upstairs apartment in the house owned by my grandfather. Piet’s father worked for my grandfather and stories abound that my grandfather would frequent the upstairs apartment, especially when Piet’s father was at work. My grandfather had a reputation of sleeping around; and my mother, Piet’s wife and my grandmother (oma) were always privately wondering if my father and Piet were half-brothers, since they were so alike in behavior. But on the other hand, they grew up together, so who knows? They confided their suspicion to me, but I do not think they ever told the two men. I am not even sure if Piet’s kids were ever told of the women’s suspicion.

My grandparents owned a vacation cabin and a daysailer on the Rottemeren, a lake on the river de Rotte, north-northeast of Rotterdam. I have photographs of the family outings to the lake, and my father and brothers (including Piet) as boy scouts sailing on the lake.

Germany invaded the Netherlands on May 10, 1940. My father was barely 18 years old. His brothers were in the Dutch military, and my understanding is that they took part in the Battle of the Grebbeberg. The Germans won that battle and slowly advanced. On May 14 they bombed Rotterdam and demanded unconditional surrender. Right after the bombing, probably on the 14th or 15th the city emptied; people fled the burning city. My father and his parents traveled up the Rotte to their cabin. It is my understanding that during that evacuation or maybe during previous outings, my mother who lived in Terbregge along the river noticed my father and vice versa and a love story developed. My mother was almost 13 years old at the time of the bombing, and she told me that her friends and her were fascinated by these older boisterous boys on the river.

My mother told me that she did not have a happy youth. Her mother was mean; and when I grew up, we all thought grandma looked like a witch. I realize that is not a nice way to think about your grandmother, but later I learned she had acted a little like that as well. When my mother grew up, she would tell her: “I don’t understand why I have three beautiful sons and you an ugly daughter. I am not sure where you came from; maybe the milkman left you here with one of his deliveries.” She also treated her husband like dirt, and he walked (was kicked) out of his home three times for six-month stints, and then he crawled back home. He (Simon van den Ende) was the proprietor of the local butcher shop and when he left home he moved into a boarding house near his store. My mother told us that he was somewhat of a pushover, a softy. Hence, my young mother’s interest in this happy family that had fun on the river.

Opa van den Ende died in 1956. I know that I met him (I have a photograph of me sitting on a potty in front of him); I was 3 at the time. I stayed with oma in Terbregge for 3 months in the summer and early fall of 1959. I briefly attended the first grade in the village and contracted mononucleosis; kissing disease at the ripe old age of 6. I remember the walk from school to the gate in oma’s back yard.

My grandparents on their sailboat on the Rottermeren

My parents.  I am not sure what the date is, if they were dating or married.

A Bud Light please (5/8/2023)

A Bud Light please! I never imagined that I would be saying those words. However, I may actually do that, the next time I order a beer in a restaurant. I even bought a case the other day. It actually looks like water, and it tastes like bad water. The reason why I bought a case of it? Let me explain.

My wife is an inspector for the health department and as part of her job she needs to inspect marinas in the area. As you know I am (or used to be) a sailor, and no she is not allowed to inspect the marina our boat is at. That would be a conflict of interest. We are both retiring on the same day, so she has been tasked to finish all her marinas and swimming pools before we both close the employment door behind us and start the proverbial next chapter of our lives (that is what people call it euphemistically; I call it “getting really old and decrepit”).

Back to the story. Here I get a phone call from an (my) upset wife. She had just finished inspecting one marina in the same creek our boat is in. She mentioned that the marina looked like crap, not well maintained, dirty, you know it. The owner complained that he has not been making a lot (enough) money, and on top of that, no one wants to buy the Bud Light that he stocked up on for his marina store clientele. It seems that he has sunk quite a large investment in this particular beer and this appears to be drinking up his profit.

Now back up. What exactly happened? A few months ago, Bud Light hired an adverting person, or an influencer, or maybe there was an influencer (whatever) whose face appeared on a can of Bud Light. Whether this was real, for fun, meant as advertisement, or photo shopped, who cares. However, this influencer, Dylan Mulvaney, is transgender. This resulted in an uproar in the conservative groups and MAGA folks. They decided to boycott Bud Lights. Hence the slumping sales at the marina which caters to the more conservative levels of society in our county. If you don’t take care of the marina and don’t do maintenance, you cannot expect millionaire boats, classy people and therefore would expect Bud Light drinkers.

Somehow, ever since tRump, the Republican party and conservative movement seem to attract two polar opposites: the super-rich and the people they take advantage off, the lower middleclass and the poor. This is still a conundrum to me, because it is the rich who get richer over the back of these guys. The working class has not caught on that they are being taken advantage off, and I think they never will. They don’t understand that tax cuts for the wealthy don’t work, these folks can buy everything their hearts desire already, while they get shafted. It is the lower middle class and the poor who need higher wages, health insurance and alike. However, the rich have them in their spell and are able to bamboozle them in thinking more conservatively from a financial and social standpoint.

The marina owner in question was telling my wife that his misfortunes were all the fault of this transgender influencer who according to him was the scum of the earth. My wife told him to tone it down, and the guy blew his top telling her that all trans folks were immoral and should die. At this point she moved away from the situation since we state employees should not get in a fight with our clients. Moreover, nowadays you can no longer predict what conservative racists will do when they get angry. They seem to be itching to pull out their AR-15 and start a massacre.

So now you know why I have started a new habit of ordering a Bud Light in restaurants. I do this in support of and solidarity with the trans community, the restaurant owners, and use it as a social statement in public.

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo at home having a Bud Light!

Why do I write? (11/23/2021)

Why do I write, or more specifically, why do I write my blog? I am not sure where I heard something similar asked the other day, either on the radio from someone on why they make music or maybe it was on XM. I know this is a subject I have visited before <here>, and it is the number one post on my site. I am still not completely sure; so I question why do we do what we are doing for a hobby or work? Do I want the attention, “preach” my (liberal or environmental) believes (now that is different from my previous blog post)? It sometimes seems that I act too much like a fool, make fun of situations, don’t take things seriously. Whenever a serious situation presents itself, I may even have a difficult time being serious or handling it in a serious matter.

Wow, this first paragraph was not where I wanted to go at all with this post today. So back up.

My posts are mostly serious, I hope. But who do I write them for? Myself, or who do I phantom my audience to be, you, who reads my ramblings? I started out my public persona behind a microphone on a radio station: KGLP FM, Gallup Public Radio. I remember it like yesterday. We built the radio station and the first minute it went on the air (I think it was 1992), Frank, who was hired as station manager by the Community College signed in and stuck the microphone in front of my face and said: “say something Jan.” The rest was history, I was hooked. Soon I had three daily radio programs for at least a year (a classical afternoon show, the Frank and Jan “All things reconsidered” show, and an evening jazz show). When Frank left, I temporarily took over as station manager for a half year or so before we left Gallup for a “real” job in Cincinnati. I missed being on the radio ever since.

Talking into a microphone to an anonymous audience was comforting. Friends listened of course, but others did not know me, and I did not know them. I could be whatever and whomever I wanted to be. Sometimes I feel this blog is the natural continuation of my short radio career, which I absolutely enjoyed so much. Very few friends know that I blog, and I really do not advertise my writing. You are one of the lucky ones if you happen to find it, read it, or even follow me. Lucky maybe exaggerated, but you get the drift. I am the lucky one if you read it!

This graph shows you where my readers came from over the years.  I started my blog on June 23, 2013.  Just over 67% of my readers were from the US.  The Indonesian readership was 0.9%.  After that, the numbers were too small to show on the graph.  I always seemed to get a lot of Russian hits whenever I mentioned tRump. 

At the time KGLP was a volunteer radio station and I did not earn a dime being assistant and later as temporary fill-in, full-time manager. It was a labor of love. I raced to the station when the station went down to fix things. In a way that is how I run this blog; I don’t make a damn penny on this blog. Yes, I know, I have complained about it at times and threatened that I will start putting adds on my blog in the hope to make a few pennies with my rambling. And there comes the point, I sometimes question who the heck do I write this thing for?

Was the radio thing and now this blog just one big ego thing, one big form of self-gratification? Am I just doing this for me? Am I just a big, fucking egocentric dick and should I just stop all this nonsense? What am I contributing to society? Am I wasting my valuable time sitting with my laptop on my lap hammering these worthless letters on the keyboard? I really don’t know.

I have written two sermons to share with folks in our UU congregation, hopefully partially educating, being empathetic, spiritual and a team player. The radio was a cheap thrill, but also something I did for the community. Both these things and other volunteer work I do, I do with the excuse that I want to give back to the community that is willing to put up with me. Maybe that is a good excuse: With this blog I am trying to give back to the world community that is willing to put up with me. Ha, ha, ha. I told you I can be funny, cynical at times.

So why am I really doing this? It is a form of diary, I guess. It started out as a daily photo blog and quickly turned into something more. I wanted to educate folks about what was dear to me, sailing, plants, nature, the environment. Then came my work, the teaching, my bonsai, and just simple life’s observations. Finally, this all was followed by politics; and there was the rabbit hole! Especially with the election of tRump. When writing about politics I was trying to challenge the right wing, the proud babies and alike. See if I could get their goat. But no, they are too interested in their own little dumb shortsighted chatrooms than to read the hopefully slightly more broadminded intellectual blog that I write.

So why do I put myself out there? I still don’t know. I don’t want or need the attention, but then like everyone else, I do check the number of hits I get on this blog, and the likes I get on my Instagram and Facebook posts. So maybe it is for self-gratification. However, I hope that some of my readers learn some thing and walk away from my posts having picked up something valuable or entertaining. However, probably not from anything I wrote in this particular post. I just had to do some public soul searching and reminiscing, but hopefully this post stimulated that in you as well.

Self Isolation sucks (4/27/2020)

I am an introvert. At least that is what all the tests tell me. By now in my sixth week of self-isolation I am starting to wonder if I am a charlatan, a master in fooling all these tests and if I am really an extrovert. I am sick and tired of being stuck at home. Yes, I go on daily walks around the neighborhood with my dogs and say hello the regular folks: dog walkers, exercisers and alike, social distancing of course. However, I can still count on both hands how many times I actually left home in my car and mingled among others.

Except for two restaurants take outs and three visits to the hardware store, it seems that the other visits I make are to my local Kroger store (the supermarket). I put on a mask get my Purell and go get bananas for my father-in-law, and while I am there, I might as well do some shopping for our own pantry. In all these stores you get to see people, but even there is no real interaction with these folks. You do not know if they laugh, smile frown, at least if they wear a mask. You avoid everyone like the plague; like ships passing in the dark. With the exception of the one lady who ran a shopping cart into my back and this young kid who could not help all the sudden stop in from of me and then when I passed him he stated coughing and he did not have a mask on. The other day I was struck by the idea, that finally an enterprising sixteen-year-old with a grey wig, a pair of horn-rimmed glasses, and a bandanna can finally buy beer at a grocery store with a self-checkout line.

I would say that 50 to 60% of the people at a grocery store or hardware store wear masks, and what amazes me is that most folks that wear masks are either older, which is good, or appear in good physical shape. Walking around these stores I look over the ones that do not wear a mask and many appear to be in their 40s and 50s and heavily overweight; struggling to walk. I cannot help thinking: “another dead man or woman walking.” If they do not have diabetes or heart trouble, they will soon have it and that is the population most affected by Covid-19.

But back to the extrovert introvert controversy. I like my solitude, being alone strolling along in nature in the woods; but I do miss that human interaction, the human touch, the exploring of new things. That is what I am missing after 6 weeks. Yes, I have my wife at home, but that is not enough. Introverts do like to be among humans, but it tires them out after a while, after which they need to recharge somehow by solitude. But solitude is different than being alone. Solitude is good, alone is not (I wrote about that in this post). I am wondering how many people are alone, these days; even when they are living with others.

Solitude is where you find solace. I find my solace from being with my bonsais, from walking in the woods, being out in nature, sailing, blogging, or even .just driving the backroads, all activities I do in solitude or that I can do with my wife. The problem is I have not been sailing much, for my blogging I need to get out and experience life, and self-isolation is not conducive to that or to aimlessly driving the back roads. While I can still enjoy retreating in the woods, I usually do not seek solace there. I do it because I am an introvert, a naturalist, a lover of nature and because of my nature deficit disorder. However, at times, I definitely have retreated into the solitude of the woods when I was sad and worried, in search of solace. But of late it is my little trees where I get lost in and dream about how to develop them, watching them as every leaf come out.

This is an azalea that I dug up from our yard last year.  It was planted by the previous owner more than 20 years ago.  It never bloomed, was abused by deer and was less than 5 inches tall.  This is the second spring in this pot and it is awarding me with this blossom.  After flowering it is training time for this plant.   

Introvert in the woods (4/24/2018)

Of late, I have been wondering whether I am really an introvert as all the tests I have taken tell me I am.  For one, people close to me (my wife, daughter and friends) wonder about the same thing.  I tell them that I have learned to fake being an extrovert.  In my not so far distant past, being an introvert was really not a problem.  I was a field biologist and just doing field surveys alone or with a partner was just fine with me.  However, as my seniority and responsibility increased I became a manager; I had to go market my and my team’s skills, and that was difficult.  I had to learn to be an extrovert.  Honestly, I sucked at marketing and I really was never very successful.  

Now I am an instructor for the state.  When push comes to shove, this is not really a dream job either for an introvert.  But, I love teaching and love what I do.

Being an introvert does not mean that you do not like to talk to people or that we are anti-social.  Every person needs human interaction and so do introverts (well, unless you're the unabomber or so).  However, we introverts also need a lot of recovery time or me-time, as described in this blog.  

For example, I am literally exhausted after a day of (solo) teaching and that is not only because I stand in front of 20 to 40 folks and talk about stormwater or erosion and sediment control.  I usually give it my all, faking being an extrovert and be out all the time.  A recent student wrote on an evaluation: “Jan is dynamic and lively and the only person who is able to make a boring subject like stormwater and erosion and sediment control interesting and fun.”  As my supervisors describes it, I leave it all out there.  So, as you can imagine, when I am done teaching or interacting with people, I need to be alone, I am tired; for me I need that balance between human interaction and alone time, it is very important.  

Just to be out there, communicating with the trees, touching them, kissing them and through them, grounding myself with the earth.  This is so calming and it gives me balance in life.

My alone time is best spent outside hiking in the woods; sailing on my boat; or on the water in my kayak.  Alone would be great, but with my loved ones is great too, as long as they do not expect me to talk too much.  I just like to be in my own thought's.  As I mentioned in some of my previous posts, when I am sailing, I cannot think about much else than staying on course, the wind, keeping the wind in the sails and not running aground.  A little wind and a heel is absolutely exhilarating.  Kayaking is different, trying to cross a somewhat larger body of water when it is windy requires concentration, but some of the trips we have with friends where we have a flotilla of 10 or more kayaks is just plain fun.  Although, even there everyone is on their own and has to concentrate on the trip.  

But walking in the woods, just taking it all in, lingering among the trees, on or off the trail, exploring and absorbing nature is also very important to me.  John Muir wrote: "In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks."

Nature is where we all came from isn't it?  We may now live in our wooden, or concrete structures and move through the world in our iron carriages, but in the not so far distant history our forefathers lived of the earth and moved on foot through nature.  They needed to be aware of their surroundings, the subtleties out there, otherwise they became saber-tooth tiger dinner.  

One of the things that upsets me the most is that is seems that nowadays when a kid is naughty the parents punish them by shutting down their computer or X-box or take away their smart phone and sending them outside.  In my days we were playing outside and punishment was going to your room.  Going outside and into the woods should not be punishment, it sends the wrong message.  But then on the other hand, breathing in the healing forest air may actually have calming effect on a kid or on people in general as I describe in some of my posts.  It brings me down, lowers my adrenaline and helps me center after having to step out and be a whole day among people faking to be an extrovert.  

Just early in the morning, on my way to work I drive and sometimes stop by Yorktown beach to take in nature, the water and everything around it.  This gets me ready for my day.

This is not a self-help post (1/7/2018)

In my previous blog I discussed how 2017 was for me.  I can assure you that while I tried to convince you, dear reader, that my glass is half full, there are always stressful times intermingled in my life, and yes I lose it at times.  A friend of mine wrote on her Facebook page that when her glass is half empty she gets a smaller glass and pours the content of the larger glass in it.  Well that is a way of changing your expectations or outlook on life.

There are all kind of ways to deal with stress (no this is not a self-help post, but just something I feel like sharing).  Some can be destructive to the person or close ones.  I am talking about alcohol, drugs or other addictions.  I like my glass of (red) wine (I wrote a few reviews of the Virginia wineries I visited), my beers (IPAs and stouts in particular ... I need to do review of them once: microbreweries and bottled), my single malts (I have around 8 different ones), bourbons (I have a few laying around), and a good cognac or armagnac (but I do not make enough money to drink that regularly).  But I generally do not have more than one drink during the week and two on the weekends.  There are exceptions of course, but that is a general rule.

So what do I do to de-stress?  It gets somewhat difficult when I travel and teach.  On days that I travel to a place, I often hope to get a nature experience in.  When I travel to the western part of the state it often becomes an hour hike on the New River trail.  When traveling to Front Royal, I love the visit the State Arboretum or find a piece of the Appalachian Trail to walk on for an hour or so.  When there is no nature, a book store or even an outdoor's store like REI (in Fairfax) will often fit the bill, at least there I can dream of being outside.

After teaching, when I stay another night, I often end up back in my room taking a nap.  Teaching takes a lot out of me.  I follow this up with a nice dinner (and a drink) and then I write and read (I recently updated my reading list).  I may have a night cap.  I watch very little TV, but I may have the TV on for noise and when I do it usually is on the Food Channel (I love cooking and baking).  Again, when I am out west and have my bike with me I might go for a bike ride on one of the many rails to trail sites that they have out there.  I have been known to visit a micro-brewery at times.  For one reason or another I do not frequent wineries when traveling alone.  When going home after teaching I tend to find a Starbucks or other high test coffee so I can survive the trip and get the hell out of there.  As you can see, I live a boring life.

When not traveling my stress relief consists of my almost daily lunch walks that end up at Starbucks for a cup of coffee and some writing or reading (my daughter complaints that this is where my retirement savings are going ... for me it is sanity).  We have moved and now my office is right next to Starbucks and I am not sure how to adjust my walks accordingly.  Another issue is that the last time I was there, there were three ladies from our office; before I was only the only one and I like being incognito.

At home I do yoga once a week.  I like it and have been doing it for 5 years now.  You all know that I like to practice "forest bathing."  A walk in the woods behind our home does wonders for me.  I also play with my bonsais and just looking at them and imagining what to do to them or how to prune them is very calming to me.  Sailing and being on or near water is another way of getting rid of stress.  My wife knits, and that is her way of being in the moment; her way of meditating. 

It has been very cold here I south east Virginia. It has been below freezing for a week and we have had snow.  Still, this has not deterred me (us) from getting outside and walking in the woods.

We even went for a 10 pm hike in the woods during our "snow storm" or the beginning of it.  The photo was taken with my head lamp on.

I think the overall idea is to entertain the mind, to keep it busy to be in the flow and concentrate on things you enjoy and not on the things that stress you out.  I've written about this a lot, but found it important to write about it again and keep reminding myself about it.

2017, so be it! (12/29/2017)

Trying to keep up with my annual tradition of looking back at the past year and forward to the new, I like to reflect it was an interesting one behind me.  Whether it was just from a personal side, my political outlook on things or social.

Kind of my up-your's world photograph.  This branch obviously died but hung on and is slowly being encapsulated by the tree.  We can all criticize our life, the world, etc, but we are here and this is our only life.  We might as well enjoy it and make the best of it.  

Readers of my blog know I am a liberal, I attend a liberal church and most of my friends on my social networking sites are liberal.  A lot of those friends (or acquaintances) are very vocal and my wife and I joke sometimes that at times the stuff they post on their walls must be fake news.  I tend the shy away from expressing myself too strongly on my walls, or even here on my blog.  For a lot of my friends the sky is falling.  For me the glass is still half full, but as I mentioned in my blog, we need to be vigilant.  I am an environmentalist, a forest bather, and a lover of water.  As someone who has lived in Africa, Asia and the Middle East in countries ruled by dictators, I have seen what could happen if the press gets censored by demagogues.  My father fought the Nazis and had PTSD for life.  We need to protect what we have! So be it!

So how was 2017.  Hey, I grew older.  At work I taught more than 55 odd workshops during the past year.  That is more than one a week on average.  I usually do two per week, which means I was on the road, teaching somewhere almost every other week.  I really enjoy teaching, so it is OK.  A male colleague once told me that a successful day of teaching is like having good sex: "you are exhausted after it, but you feel oh-so satisfied."  The growing older comes in with the recovery time after a day of solo teaching and traveling, it takes a lot longer.  A perk is all the hotel points that I am accumulating, that is a nice fringe benefit.  So be it!

2018 does not look much different.  More teaching, but first getting used to cubicle life.  My office moved and I am going from an office with a door into a cubicle.  Which is why I got headphones, Amazon Prime music and Google Music to drown them all out.  But I get a desk that can be turned into a standing desk with a switch, and we learned last year that sitting is the new smoking.   The new location will also impact my lunch walks, but I'll adapt, so be it!

Environmentally we have taking a few steps back this past year.  But that is only as a country.  I learned that other countries are trying to step up to compensate for our regression.  I also know that a lot of individuals are stepping up to the plate.  I for one learned about forest bathing, and if you want to experience that then you'll have to be spiritual but also environmental.  In 2016 I championed the term "Nature Deficit Disorder."  This term encompasses forest bathing, or one way to address the disorder is by getting out there in nature.  We just need to take care of our little piece of nature since our elected government does want to do it right now.  All I can do is try to learn and grow.  So be it!

On the subject of learning.  I discovered a great website.  Aeon.co is a great site with essays about a variety of subjects and even some short video presentations.   I find in refreshing and fun.  I am also listening to a fair number of podcasts.  I know I am scratching the surface here, but it is a great learning experience.  So much better than television or radio.  I particularly enjoy: The Hidden Brain and Reply All.  For the rest my Kindle App is a godsend, I read and write.  I will never stop learning and that will hold true for 2018.  So be it!

I have also really gotten back into my bonsai trees.  Some of them are almost 30 years old and have been ignored for some time.  Getting back into it has been really relaxing for me and it does wonders for my brain.  However, I hate to report that I have not sailed or biked enough.  There is just not enough time in the weekend to get all my hobbies in and mow the lawn.  I live a full life, I hardly have time to watch TV.  So be it!

In my study of trees, I was struck to see how this vine strangled this tree.  In bonsai we use wire to bend branches and we are always concerned about leaving wire marks.  Well this is the ultimate wire mark.  To me it also shows that too much training or restriction is not always the best, we need to go with the flow.  Don't let you preconceived ideas restrict you!

Even politically things are looking up.  I think people are seeing and understanding that civility is important in public discourse.  After a year of twitter barrages many of the voters are saying enough is enough.   I don't care if it is left or right, what I would like to see is compromise and dialogue.  If we need to do that through the ballot box in 2018, so be it!

Finally, at home.  We celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary this year with a trip to Newfoundland.  I wrote a few posts about it in late June and July.  Celebrating those achievements and our friends will be an important item in the future. That is what will keep us young and alive.  So be it!

I do not often show pictures of me and my family on my blog, but this is the happy 40-year married couple at the terracotta warrior exhibit in Richmond this week.

As you can see, my glass is half full.  Yes, it can be better, but I appreciate what I have, and look forward to what is ahead.  So be it!

These are the 9 pictures on my Instagram site that got the most likes in 2017.  As I mentioned in my post 7 had to do with nature,  two with water and boating, two with Newfoundland,  and 6 were taken in the woods behind our home.

Sea level rise (10/12/2017)

Sunday's newspaper had an interesting article on how the coastal communities in our area have been experiencing more coastal flooding in the past two decades than in the previous years.  We live in a crazy area; having a perfect combination of contributing factors to sea level rise and flooding events.  It seems that Dr. Tal Ezer a professor at Old Dominion University found that in each of the decades 1950-60, 60-70 and 70-80 there was only once that there was significant coastal flooding.  In the 1990 this increased to 5 times, between 2000 and 2010 it was also 5 times and between 2010 and 2016 we already have seen it 6 times.  This year is not different, hurricane Jose even caused some coastal flooding and it did not even come close.

The water was really high in the York River during our kayaking trip this past July 30th.  I think the weather service called for minor coastal flooding that day.  
Please remember the King Tide event will hit Virginia on November 5 this year that day we are having the astronomically highest tide and we are being asked to go out and take photographs of the event using a special app.  Check when such an event will happen in your area and participate!

So what are some of the factors?  The article mentions an interesting one: "The Gulf stream is slowing down!"  A fast Gulf stream pulls the water out of the Chesapeake Bay and when it slows down, it seems that the water is backing up into the Bay; interesting isn't it?  I am sure that helps with the rise of some of the water here.

On September 3, 2016 the coastal flooding was so severe thanks to a tropical storm that we could not get to our sailboat; as you can see the dock was flooded.

The article never mentions why the Gulf stream is slowing down.  My research shows that it could be caused by global warming.  I learned it may.  This article suggests it has to do with the salt content in the water; fresh water from the melting glaciers from Greenland are impacting the circulation and slowing things down.

Other factors that affect sea level rise include that we live in a subsidence area, and of course the famous global warming.  Lately, I have been at a few conferences where we are told not to talk about global warming, since that is such a polarizing subject, people stop listening  We should talk about sea level rise or coastal flooding, that isn't controversial, people can see and experience that without needing to know what causes it!  Maybe that will sink in and maybe they will act or react.  Global warming is such a politically charged subject.

It is an amazing world we live in, everything seems to be politically charged and controversial nowadays.  It has become us against them.  Politicians trying to undo what the previous guy try to enact in good faith, what they thought what was best for the country.  It feels more like undoing thing for the sake of tying to destroy a legacy than something that is carefully thought through.  

But here I go again, entering the slippery slope of politics.  I should really concentrate on writing about my first loves: the environment and nature.  While thinking about that, I recommend we should all take a deep breath, go out in nature and meditate on the beauty of it, regardless of religion, sexual orientation or political leaning (how is that for a transition?).  We should all concentrate on the peace and quiet it brings to be out there and bathe in nature.  We need to appreciate and understand how important it is that our children and their children can enjoy it as well in the distant future.

Have you hugged a tree today? 

Taking stock (12/29/2016)

On January 3, 2016 I posted a New Year’s resolution on this blog.  I decided to bring more culture in my life.  Well, I can report that although I am bookending 2016 with museum visits, I failed miserably.  But then 2016 failed me miserably, as well. 

First my latest museum visit.  I had the pleasure to go to the Richmond Fine Arts Museum and visited the “Jasper Johns and Edvard Munch: Love, Loss and the Cycle of Life” exhibition.  It was an impressive exhibit, an eye opener that show the interconnectedness that we all have; whether it is conscious or subconscious, as we later discovered.  For example my wife is a painter and as a 16 year-old she visited the Munch museum in Oslo.  Now finally, more than 45 years later looking again at Munch’s work does she and I realize his influence on her work, very much like Munch’s strong influence on Johns’ work.  But then there is no way of living in a bubble and escaping extraneous impressions we gather throughout our lives. 

I am sure I have all kinds of extraneous influences that have guided me through my adult life and are still guiding me.  It probably ranges from what I saw at home and what I saw around me as a child and teenager, to the things I experienced later on in my life, but in particular when living and working in Uganda.

I do not think that this why I failed my resolution of 2016.  But I do think these things are part of the reason why I write this blog and the philosophy I try to put down in words.  I want to bet that my love for nature was formed by my wandering in the kunuku or the bush almost every day after school when I was a kid.  I was observing and looking at things; the cacti that were blooming, the lizards, the humming birds flying from tree to tree, the troupial birds calling out, you name it.  When I was not there, I was either sailing or snorkeling at the beach.  I can still vividly remember the angry protest demonstrators (black minimum wage laborers) marching by our high school on their way downtown and later that day watching the smoke rising from above town when it was burning, set aflame by the rioters.  The island was under marshal law for a week and the whites were panic stricken.  We were among a group of white settlers who eventually left the island, remembering what happened in Congo (the country of my birth) a few years earlier.  It never happened on the island and from what I hear it is still pleasant there.  I did not understand the fear of my parents, it fascinated me and I resented them for having to leave the island.  It all made me who I am today and the one I'll be tomorrow, not only as a person, but my hobbies, my interests and my passions. 

So what was 2016 like?  I visited the two museums, but for the rest I did not do much more culturally.  I went to one opera and two classical concerts.  As I mention in a previous blog, I try to read, but that is difficult after a hard day’s work, after a commute, with tired eyes and tired mind, and a slight case of dyslexia.  I did finish one masterpiece of literature: Hemingway’s: The Old Man and the Sea, and boy that was a thick book (just kidding), but a masterpiece none-the-less!

At least that is what I can remember of my great cultural effort of 2016.  To me a walk in nature, being one with nature, soothing my nature deficit disorder, that is what I needed most in 2016.  Yes, it can be the same old trail every day, that does not matter. 

This gate symbolizes the entry to 2017 which I am going to enter with great apprehension and with the promise to myself to work more on myself and my personal projects.  To read more, be more cultured, work more on bettering the world and less on just sitting on my ass and being passionless.

This past year failed me as well.  Promises were given and broken.  They ranged from raises; to oh, we would never get this person as president, and now we going to be stuck with him for four years.  It is a year which is showcasing the great divide more than ever.  We have been made more aware that there still is a divide between rich and poor, black and white, and that black lives matter; it is almost becoming increasingly dangerous to admit to be educated or cultured.  This schism in our country and culture is unbelievable, but it feels like the middle ground is lost; it is nothing this blog can solve.  Maybe it is time for me to keep going on my cultural quest and read Huxley’s “Brave New World” again, or some other great novel on how to react or deal with what we have right now.  I am taking suggestions!

A walk in the woods, the naturalists have it (Yorktown, 12/22/2016)

I have been reading a lot about nature.  In fact , as a biologist I consider myself a naturalist, or maybe an amateur naturalist.  I write a lot about nature in my blogs; it often revolves around the interaction between us humans and nature, or what I have started calling “nature deficit disorder.”  It is a term I stole as most of my readers are aware (there are now 30 posts on this blog where I talk about it).  

In the distant past I have wanted to become a naturalist writer.  But I am not sure if I have the quality to be one or to become one, so this blog will have to do, at least for now.  Among my favorite naturalist writers are John McPhee, Gretel Ehrlich, Sue Hubbell, and Edward Hoagland, among others.  Naturally, I devoured writings by Henry David Thoreau and Aldo Leopold. 

The last quick read I had was Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea.”  A friend of mine tried to convince me that it was Hemingway’s way of telling us that a man can be defeated but not be destroyed, or as he said, maybe that it is a metaphor for Apostle Paul’s writing when he describes that outwardly a man can waste away but inwardly he is being renewed.  Santiago was reborn as a legitimate fisherman; the book ends in him regaining respect from his colleagues and of course having respect in him self.  Hemingway himself claimed there was no symbolism in the story.  I mostly read the story because it is on a list of the top 100 books, as a lover of the water, a sailor, for entertainment, and as a naturalist (I used to fish when I was a teenager).

I have so many unfinished books.  That is not because I don’t like them, but it is partially because of my varied interest and because the only time that I can read is in the evening after work when I am tired.  I usually do not read novels, but read, you guessed it, naturalist and non-fiction books.  Right now I am trying to concentrate on a book on human psychology (Thinking Fast and Thinking Slow by Daniel Kahneman) hopefully it fits in with my study of humans and the idea of nature deficit disorder.

To me nature is very important for the human psyche; whether it is that freshly fallen sassafras leaf in the fall; the timing of the pine pollen in spring (mostly on my Instagram Pictures); my frequent walks along the New River Trail in far Western Virginia (7 entries); being out on the water in my kayak or my sailboat (too many to count); or examining a pine tree that apparently snapped in a recent storm (during my latest walk).  I like it all and I need it!  I like to take my time and enjoy taking it all in; the sights and sounds; the feeling of just being immersed in nature, being one with it.

Sunrise on the trail in the woods behind our home.

Take this past Sunday.  It promised to be one of those rare early winter days when the temperature was going to be above 70 degrees Fahrenheit.  We decided that there was no better way to get our spirituality that day then to get out in nature and we went for a two hour hike in the woods behind our house (no church for us).  We went off the beaten track on a trail that is not traveled on by many people.  

The trail leads from our home by some ephemeral ponds that so often write about.  This time of the year they are not as full other years.  They were fuller a month ago, and the water level has slowly been dropping.  These ponds are groundwater fed, meaning the water level in the ponds are as high as the groundwater and we've had a dry month and a half.  Groundwater levels usually rise in the winter and reach their highest level around the middle of February.  All trees are dormant at this time and throughout the winter.  There is little transpiration from plants and the evaporation is at its lowest as well.  By early April the groundwater levels and the levels in the ponds start dropping and the ponds dry up completely by mid to late June.  By that time the water level has dropped almost 6 feet.

Examining a pine tree that must have snapped during a recent storm this past Sunday.  This was on the trail.

The rest of the walk takes us by very young pine forests where the woods were cleared in 2003 after Hurricane Isabel devastated a certain area, through a shallow stream valley, back up to what is my favorite area: a wooded section with huge tulip popular trees.  I would estimate that these trees are close to 300 feet tall and probably more than 100 years old.  After that the trail descends into a mixed forested wetland that is often difficult to cross.  It is wide, dark and wet and often has shallow running water in it.  After passing through the wetland it becomes a fun trail and passes by a heron rookery that appears to have been abandoned in the past two years, and a large swamps where we love to watch redheaded woodpeckers and all kinds of ducks.  Eventually the trail end up in the Battlefield National Historic Park and from there the hiking and biking choices are limitless, but well defined.

A piece of broken off bark covered with lichen that I found lying on the forest floor.  I just loved the color contrast between the bright green and the leaves.  I want to bet it was knocked off by a woodpecker of some kind.

It was a great day for a hike!  Walking around you find all kinds of treasures, large and small, up high and down low.  Getting back from the hike I had my daily 10,000 steps, but the exercise was not the most important.  I felt mentally and spiritually recharged.   

Try it yourself, get out.  It is not scary out there; if you have not done it in a while, start in small doses or just go for a walk in your neighborhood and observe people's yards, the plants, trees and birds.  Take it all in.  Cure your Nature Deficit Disorder!

Just standing still and looking up in the woods is nice!

Having flow, I can fake it with the best! (12/12/2016)

Last week I experienced flow again.  It was a crazy couple of days.  I was on the road for six days, two three day stretches, with a Friday and Saturday of relative rest (home chores) in between.  I put over 1000 miles on the vehicle that I got from our motor pool that week (thank goodness it was not my own car).  

When I was a young kid, driving large distances really did not bother me, I remember that day that we drove from just outside Little Rock, Arkansas to Wilmington Delaware (1,100+ miles) in one day, and the next day we went for a large hike.  This last time, I had to drive back at night in the dark in the pouring rain; at times I had zero visibility.  The day after, I was sitting in the office feeling like a zombie; it was an almost completely unproductive day.

You would think that after driving to the location where I teach, followed by a rotten (first) night in a different bed (motel room), I would be out of it.  I might feel like it, but the moment I step into the classroom, it is like a switch is being flipped. 

Ready to start my day of teaching this past Monday 12/5/2016.  Boy, I have never used that many selfies in my blog!  But you can see, I was kind of out of it, not yet ready to get going, but it changed once I opened my mouth. This picture was manipulated with a small program called Prisma; I used the Mosaic option.

I have this ritual when I teach and it really helps me get my stuff together.  I can be in the crappiest mood, or tired; drag myself out of my motel bed and into the room where I will be teaching, but when I get in there, I forget about it all.  I can literally solo teach for six or seven hours; be on; be engaging; feel great; and simply do not let on what’s the matter with me.  I give it my everything!  Oh yes, I can fake it with the best!  But when when the class is done and the last person leaves the room, I am done for, I am exhausted.  As a fellow teacher of mine and I once compared: "Good teaching is like good sex, you are exhausted after that."  Hopefully I am teaching a second day and I can go back to my motel room and go for a nap.  Having to drive back to the office and then back home is tortuous at times.  

No, I am trying to show off or complaining.  I am just sharing my technique; my way of doing it.  I probably take it too far and exhaust myself too much, but I made a promise to myself to never give a boring class.

My morning ritual is really simple.  I get to the room where I teach about a half hour early, set up, put out the sign-in sheet, and then I try to make small talk.  I talk with people (I think) I know.  I ask them about their life, make small talk, and I am personable.  It is a one on one link that I establish with a few that helps me teach, it allows me to search them out later and make eye contact.  Being an introvert, this is my way of drawing me out of my shell, and getting me in that mindset of putting myself out there and teach; of focusing of the task at hand.  I learned this a long time ago; I need to socialize to get the juices flowing.  Even during the breaks I give people; I don’t even get to go to the restroom, but I am in front of the class answering questions and talking to people.  Usually I am on all the time, with just enough time for lunch.  That is often the only time when I don't mind being on my own, that is my time to recharge for the afternoon session.

For me it is all about being in the zone, having flow.  As I mentioned in my post on how sailing meditates me, flow is important.  When you have flow you forget the bad things that surround you.  You forget that you are tired, you live on adrenaline, you are in the zone.  You fake it with the best!  Or do you really?  Maybe it is genuine; I really genuinely care about what I teach and I care about my students; otherwise I would go through the motions and not achieve flow.

So how do you achieve flow?  To each his or her own, but as I mentioned, I have somewhat of a ritual.  Owen Schaffer mentioned that there are seven conditions for getting, being and staying in flow:

• High perceived challenges
• High perceived skills
• Knowing what to do
• Knowing how to do it
• Knowing how well you are doing
• Knowing where to go (where navigation is involved ... or maybe my ritual)
• Freedom from distractions

This is how I am when I sail, teach, kayak, bike, work on my bonsais, and when I go for a nice walk in nature.  Interesting isn't it?  To think that I am not even that good at some of these things or really do not know what I am doing, I get to that state of flow.  Enemies to flow are boredom, apathy and anxiety.  Flow keeps you alive, boredom, apathy and anxiety are killers.

Nothing better than a morning hike through the woods, exploring life and death around you.  Here is where I experience flow, forget about it all and take photographs to document nature's beauty, even a dead tree that is slowly decaying.

Nature Deficit Disorder III (9/30/2016)

This weekend I am doing a presentation on Nature Deficit Disorder at the Adult Education Classes or what is called the Forum at my UU church, so I decided to put a summary of my interest/research in words in this blog.  This is the third entry on my blog with this title and if you look at the labels (keywords) there are 29 posts where I either mention the concept or somehow deal with the concept (that is including this post).  So here it goes.

Our church used this photograph of me in their announcement of my talk.  This picture was taken by Donna Briedé during our hike in Maine earlier this spring.

I guess we all know what the definition of nature is. But just in case, it is: "the physical world and everything in it (such as plants, animals, mountains, oceans, stars, etc.) that is not made by people" (Merriam Webster online dictionary).  So this includes the green and blue nature that I so enjoy and need!

On a recent morning on my way to work I drove by this lovely scene in Yorktown.  It is emblematic of the juxtaposition of the natural world and the man-made world to me.

Earlier readers of my blog know that I need to get out in nature to recharge, to get my sanity back, to get inspired, to meditate, you name it.  I am not the only one who needs it.  In the 1850s Henry David Thoreau wrote about the need to recharge (recreate) himself:

"When I would recreate myself, I seek the darkest wood, the thickest and most impenetrable and to the citizen , most dismal, swamp.  I enter a swamp as a sacred place, a sanctum sanctorum."

In the first paragraph of Moby Dick Herman Melville writes:

"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me."

Reading this paragraph you see that the only way he can keep out of trouble or from killing himself (pistol and ball) is by taking himself to a ship and going out to sea!

So whether it is the green nature of Thoreau or the blue nature of Melville it does not matter nature helps with sanity.

This principle was known for a long time by man-kind, but first articulated by Richard Louv in 2005 in his book "Last Child in the Woods" as Nature Deficit Disorder.  The author related it mostly to children, but later on and in subsequent books also relates it back to teens and adults.  The premise of the theory (book) is that we are spending less and less time in nature as civilization has progressed.  This has led to some of the ailments in society that we are currently experiencing according to Louv, or maybe we could cure some of the problems by bringing people into nature or nature to the people.

Naturally, the world is much more complex than Louv describes it in his books and I try to make it out to be, here in this blog.  But every little bit helps, at least on a personal level.  For example, Louv describes how he saw an almost 180 degree change in a gang leader from west LA when he took him for regular hikes in the nature of southern California.  Studies abound on hospital patients that heal faster when their window looks out over a natural scene as opposed over a city/non-natural scene.  Office buildings now have atriums with plants.  People with nature scene wallpaper and screen savers on their computers appear more productive at work than those who do not.  So maybe there is something to that movement that tries to fill those empty inner-city lots with pocket parks and vegetable (victory) gardens. 

In his book "Blue Mind" Wallace Nichols writes about how science now shows that being near, in, on or under water can make us happier, healthier, more connected and better at what you do.  I wrote a previous post about it called "Sailing meditates me" (Yes you can click on the text and it will send you there).  Blue Mind is a fascinating book that takes you on a trip in neuroscience, ptsd, health, you name it, it is a fun and informative book to read.

But all shameless self promotion aside (and I do not consider myself a great writer or thinker), nature really does meditate me; in fact being in any type nature meditates me, like for so many others.  Some do it in groups or alone like walking meditation (click <here> for a great description of a walking meditation), or you can practice nature meditation <click here>.  Interestingly nature meditation can be done sitting or walking and I think it is nature meditation that I do when I walk in the woods or even when I sail.  My mind is usually empty or when I think of what is troubling me, I can easily divert it and go back to being in the moment and experiencing what is around me.  I have even read of guided nature meditation groups, but somehow I am not a group kinda guy. 

So lets stop being afraid of nature and embrace it.  If we cannot get out in nature lets bring it to us.  Lets push for the greening of our inner-cities, it will not stop the crime, but what do we have to loose?  As Louv puts it in a summary of his book "The term Nature Deficit Disorder refers to behavioral problem that has been seen in children and adults that can be almost directly related to the lack of exposure to nature.  A lot of these problems can be reversed by taking persons with these issues out into nature."  Maybe by bringing nature back to the people we can reverse some of the problems as well.

Is our blue marble turning green? (8/4/2016)

"Far above the world, Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do" 

- David Bowie -

This was the view from our cockpit the other morning watching the sun come up over the horizon during an early morning sail on the Chesapeake Bay.  The water in the Bay this winter was remarkably clean and clear.

But here on earth there is a lot we can do to keep that water blue and healthy.  Although it seems to get more and more difficult.  This week's newspaper reported that the drinking water in our area stinks and tastes bad.  Our water works blames the hot weather and the algae bloom in the lakes that supply our water.  It seems that the algae give the water a bad taste and smell.

The next questions hot weather and algae bloom, what can we do about that?

By now we should have all heard about global warming; it is real and there is probably not much we can do about in the short term.  But in the long term, yes we can.  We need to get serious about energy efficiency and renewable energy; it is not only good for the planet, but also good for our pockets.  But yes it is an expensive investment in the short term and the returns are slow to materialize (it will pay you back in so many years).  For example, we are saving $15.00 every two months on our water bill since we installed two $180 low flow toilets.  This means it will take us 48 months or 4 years to break even.

The hot weather has warmed up that wonderful nutrient rich water and made it the perfect breeding ground for all those algae.  Note the words nutrient rich!  How does the water get nutrient rich?  Oh yes, blame those farmers!  Well, not so fast.  We are to blame as well.  We over-fertilize our yards, or put fertilizer where it does not belong; people don't pick up after their animals; don't maintain their septic systems; dump their fall leaves in a ditch or in the woods where they don't belong; wash their car in the street and not on the lawn or at a car wash; or poor chemicals down the storm drain.  All that stuff eventually ends up in the streams and rivers where we all get our drinking water from or that end up in the Bay.  And the algae love it!  Look for the word eutrophication that's what scientist call it.  It means enriching the water with nutrients.

Last September we went on an evening sailing trip to watch the algae at night in their phosphorescent state.  It was quite the adventure and I wrote about it in this blog posting.  Who knows, I promised a few friends to take them out if it happens again, and I secretly hope it does not, although I love to sail at night.

But lets get back to the question, is our blue marble turning green?  The earth was first called blue marble by the space program on December 7, 1972, by the Apollo 17 astronauts when they took a picture of the earth on their return trip from the moon.  Subsequently, other satellites that flew much further from earth also looked back home and took pictures of the blue marble floating in space.  (I learned about this term from Wallace Nichols' book "Blue Mind" he actually started the Blue Marble Project). 

This is a copy of the original photograph taken by the Apollo 17 astronauts.   Picture was downloaded from NASA.

My question is with global warming and eutrophication, will the blue marble stay blue or will it turn the oceans green with algae, or will it turn the world green with people who think green and want to help save and protect the environment?  

That choice is ours isn't it?