Crossroads (9/14/2021)

I have been somewhat at a crossroads in my life and on the other hand at peace with being there. Looking back at these past few weeks, it has been an interesting time, as it probably is for many of you or eventually will become for many of you. Being part of the so called “sandwich generation.” I am not sure which generation the top half of the bread is a which is the bottom, but although one, the parent part, has been reduced to only one, it has become progressively heavier or thicker. The kid, we only have one daughter, part of that sandwich is progressively getting thinner or lighter. But she has not gone away all together, in particular since she decided that she is going to get married early next fall and she wants to do it here in Virginia while she lives in Maine. So, you get the message, it looks like we will need to do a lot of leg work. We have absolutely no problem with the marriage itself, we just hoped she would elope (not really, that is just me joking).

In the middle of August, we moved my father-in-law from his spacious condo to an apartment in an independent living facility. Since he is 94, hard of hearing, technically blind in one eye, and has difficulty walking, the task fell on us to downsize him. He is still very much with it, thank goodness. But it was a lot of work going through his home and figuring what to take and what would go to our home or what we would have to take to Good Will. I think my back has finally recuperated somewhat. But our home is still one big tripping hazard. We look like hoarders! But a lot of his stuff is much better quality than ours which we accumulated in our student days of the late 1980s. Yes, we bought some new later with our limited budget.

However, it is not over. During the past year and a half of COVID, I did most of the shopping for my father-in-law. We were hoping that this would be a thing of the past with his move. Before he lived 10 minutes away, which has now become a 25-minute drive (each way). But the orders are still pouring in: peanut butter cup ice cream, lactose free milk, Post grape nuts, just to name a few of the essentials. Today I ordered a chair for his shower. His dry-cleaning lady misses him and asks my whether he is eating enough at his new place.

There are good things too. He gave us (me) his car, which is 9 years younger than mine and the same make and model. My car has 313,000 miles on the odometer, his had 31,000. I am paying is forward, I think, and I’ll be driving my car up to Maine this weekend to give it to our daughter and her fiancé, in the hope it holds up and they can use it as a second car. But Hondas should be able to do it for a while, I hope. (Postscript … I am editing this post while sitting in Maine. The car made it, and everything is fine).

Typical Jersey turnpike breakfast for champions like me.  

So yes, watching people getting older, talking about a daughter getting married, and approaching 70 in a few years (I am 68 right now), makes you wonder when it will be my time. These are the crossroads I was talking about. Should I retire or not retire, that is the question. Reading an article in the newspaper this week that Jill Biden who is 70 returned to the classroom to teach was somewhat interesting if not encouraging. Hey, I can do that too! I had a physical just before Labor Day, and while the words physical exam is somewhat disappointing, I came through it with flying colors. It was just a set of blood test which showed I was more-or-less healthy. It does make you feel good, and it was another piece in the puzzle in making that decision on retirement. Maybe I can try to break Jill Biden’s record.

There you have it. These are some of the things messing with my head and with my life. My crossroads right now. Not necessarily bad. This is why I am at peace with what is to come in my life; maybe more than ever.

A New Car! (06/03/2021)

Sitting at the car dealer waiting for a few things to be done to the new vehicle we bought feeling again that we probably have been had and paid too much. Why does one always have that feeling, when buying a car or buying a home, you feel like you just paid too much?

We needed to buy a different vehicle. The one we replaced was a 2001 Honda CRV, one of those with the tire on the back and a picnic table in the trunk. The tire in the back actually had a wren nesting in it and I am sorry but the brood went once a week for a day to the office and grocery shopping at times. It makes you wonder if the eggs were still viable when we discovered them. That CRV had 270,000 or so miles on it. The other car we own is a Honda Accord from 2007 with 330,000 miles on it. So you can see, we do not have a terribly reliable vehicle for extended road trips. On top of that, the newspaper reported on the skyrocketing car rental prices, so that did not seem to be an option either.

And here it happened. My 94 year-old father-in-law was at the dentist to have a tooth extracted and when he got back into his car, yes he still drives, he started bleeding profusely. He is not very ambulatory and called the dentist on his phone. The dentist came running out to the car and fixed him up, not before my father-in-law had blood all over himself. As a result, he did not feel well enough to drive and my wife needed to go out to get him in her 20 year-old CRV. On the way home her car broke down, a hose broke. It was a rare 90-degree (30+ degree Celsius) spring day. Here my father-in-law gets out of the car in the parking lot of a grocery store covered in blood with my wife standing next to her. The only thing missing is a big butcher knife or a hatched.

I realize that buying a new car is foolish. You lose value the minute you drive it off the lot and that is it. We understand that. However, we tend to maintain our cars and keep them for a long time. Since our return to the U.S. from our overseas assignments we have owned a Honda Civic 4WD wagon, which one stayed with us for 15 years; a Toyota Pickup with we had for 25 years, and the two vehicles about which I have been writing above, 20 and 14 years, respectively. We tend to drive until they fall apart. At least we know who drives them and takes care of them. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not, but we think so.

We have been talking about going more environmentally friendly, and I told my wife that my next car would be a Tesla. The compromise was a CRV hybrid. I am happy to say that the first tank of gas is about half-way done and the gas millage is 38 miles to the gallon or more than 16 kilometers per liter. Not bad at all. We really wanted something that used less gas, but my wife was still weary of all electric. However, the time will come that we will make that switch.

The new and the old; left to right.  Of course with the old and the young in the middle.

So here I am sitting at the dealer having a roof rack installed, and having a little buyer’s remorse or should I call it just wondering if we have been had; paid too much. I am still not sure why car sales folks do this to you, but darn that feeling. However, I am sure that 10 or 15 years from now we will not remember this, maybe only when looking back at this blog post. I am sure we will have fun with this vehicle while being a little protective of the environment.