When the rich wage war it's the poor who die (3/14/2022)

“When the rich wage war it's the poor who die” is a quote by the French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre. Now we all know that Putin is filthy rich and has secret bank accounts all over the world, but somehow, I don’t think this is why he started the war in Ukraine. Yes, he mentioned some bogus or false excuse for starting it. Moreover, he is able to control the Russian media with his message (this weekend he shut down Instagram to the Russian people). In addition to being a war criminal, he is a gaslighter. I am sure tRump must be jealous!

From my end it looks like Putin started the war from a more ideological origin than a financial one as Sartre concludes. He seems to want to cobble the old Russia back together, while using some strange pretext or outright lie. And who suffers? The soldiers from both sides. Russian soldiers who are dying, deserting, not knowing what or why they are doing what they are doing. Neither do their loved ones at home. Let’s not forget all the Ukrainian people. They suffer even worst. Their homes, hospitals, schools etc. are indiscriminately bombed.

It are the poor, the innocent who die for a cause of a few, maybe one deranged leader and his misguided ideas. He or they are not only rich and therefore hungry for power, this time he is also insane. This has to stop!

Hotels 4 and 5. A view from the road, Fairfax and Staunton (3/11/2022)

My travel and in person teaching has resumed in earnest. Driving to the locations, in motel rooms and even in the classes there is no way of avoiding of being exposed to and talking about the stupid war that Russia is waging in Ukraine. It appears that everyone in my classes is willing to accept the higher gasoline prices and know whom to blame for it: the Russian president (more about this below). But, as I mention in a previous post it is good to be back out. Since the last post on teaching, I have taught live in Richmond (no overnight travel), Fairfax and in Staunton (all of course in Virginia, more about that later in this post, as well).

At the Homewood Suites by Hilton i  West Falls Church in Northern Virginia.  This is a great place, were it not for the view from my room which was of the back of a strip mall and dumpsters.

No this is not me after drinking a beer, but I was demonstrating how the timer on your camera works to my students in a photography class that I taught this week.

In the meantime, it has been difficult to tear myself away from the television these past few weeks to do something productive, like writing a blog post. The war in Ukraine, the atrocities that Putin and his army is inflicting on that country and its people (like bombing a maternity hospital and killing innocent women and children) is keeping me in its grip. What is really upsetting me are the falls pretexted that he is using for the war and from what I am hearing the way he is preventing the people in Russia of finding out that it is all based on a big lie.

There are no Nazis in Ukraine that are killing ethnic Russians. The president of Ukraine is Jewish and calling him a Nazi is an insult to the Jewish people. Soldiers are killing civilians, and they are slowly becoming war criminals by the order of just one deranged crazy person: Putin. On top of all this countries like China, North Korea and Vietnam are telling their folks the same shit. Honestly, the international community should issue an arrest warrant for Putin for war crimes and revoke his diplomatic status. When he sets foot in any other country, arrest him and haul him in front of the International Court in The Hague!

Enough ranting. My travel did afford me some distraction, including the ability to try out some different restaurants and different beers and believe it or not, wine. For example in Fairfax, I got to eat Lebanese and Korean, while in Staunton I ate an exotic grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of tomato soup that I washed down with a glass of wine at a wine bar named the Yelping Dog. The second night an old friend and his wife took me to their favorite local pizza shop. In other words, it was a somewhat cheesy week for me but enjoyably so. I even visited a new microbrewery for me: the Seven Arrows Brewery in Augusta County (Waynesboro). They make some darn tasty beer!

The red IPA by Seven Arrow.  A very nice a good tasting one!

The final hotel photo!  This one was taken in Staunton at the Holiday Inn. A nice hotel, I have been coming here many times.  I love the view of the golf course.  All the photographs I take of me in my rooms based on an exhibit we saw a few years ago at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts on Edward Hopper the American Painter. 

The one thing that I found to be different now is the room service. I always stay two nights in a room. Pre-COVID folks would come in your room to clean it, give you clean towel and make your bed. Now, probably to save money, this does not happen. I have to go downstairs to ask for more coffee for my in-room coffee maker. I think it is fine, I am sure it is difficult to get good help for the wages these hotels are willing to pay.

In both overnight travel cases; however, the drive was bad. At those times, I miss Europe and the ability to jump on public transportation like the train and zip from point A to point B. We had a big storm this week and there were many trees down on the road between Charlottesville and Richmond. This meant tree cutters everywhere and traffic delays. The week before I was stuck in Northern Virginia traffic with bad tires that were losing air. C’est la vie.

As you can see here, just a very superficial update and in the hope that this blog still penetrates the Russian sensors (I used to have a lot of Russian readers) I wanted to let them know about the big lie that they are being told about the need for this war. As I mentioned in my past post, my heart goes out to the Ukrainian people and to the Russian folks as well, especially those who oppose this insane war but are afraid to express themselves.

Gaslighting (8/3/2018)

Wow, one of those verbs I never thought I would write a blog post about. But is seems to become a more commonly used word. So common that my wife told me the other day: “You are trying to gaslight me.” Thanks goodness she was using it more tongue in cheek, but boy we have come a long way, that we use this in our common intercourse between people.  (Warning for those of you expecting one of my regular blog posts, this one is a bit more political than others, so be forewarned! )

Where does the term come from? Gaslighting comes from a play “Gas Light” which was made into the 1944 movie “Gaslight.” In this movie a husband tries to convince his wife that she is insane by trying to change little things around her and trying to convince her she is just imagining it. He did this trying to save his ass after murdering the lady in the upstairs apartment. Not that I am that old, but I remember watching it. It seems that “gaslighting” came into vogue as a term in the 1960s to describe efforts to manipulate someone's perception of reality. 

From the movie "Gaslight"

And here we are today. The term gaslighting is so commonplace now, it is scary. But let’s look at it in more detail. This is what an online article in Psychology Today that was posted on January 22, 2017, says about people who gaslight:

1. They tell blatant lies,
2. They deny they ever said something, although you have proof,
3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition,
4. They wear you down over time,
5. Their actions do not match their words,
6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you,
7. They know confusion weakens people,
8. They project,
9. They try to align people against you,
10. They tell others that you are crazy, and
11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

That is a lot to digest isn’t it?  It is usually something one person does to another, but I have a feeling we have reached a point where one person can do this to a nation.  Scary, in particular since we just witnessed the use of the majority of these bullets after the meeting of our president with the president of Russia. Truthfully, it is not the first time I have felt gaslighted in the current political climate. For example, terms like fake news and fake press fit in bullets 4, 7, 8, 9 10, and 11.

Some additional observation about gaslighting, (I borrowed the bullets and some of the discussion from this article):

1. Gaslighting does not necessarily has to be deliberate. We see this all the time. For example, when an African American person (read male) was killed by a police man. In the past nobody seemed to care, except his family of course. He was either armed, on drugs, had a record, was deranged, reached for a gun; and society blindly accepted it. We were gaslighted by stereotype. It was the killing of Trayvon Martin and the Black Lives Matter Movement that changed this or at least is trying to change it. It is about time that we are wondering and fighting this apathy when it comes to all those police killing (yes some might have been justified, but a lot of them were not).  The problem is that we are now experiencing push back from people who have been thoroughly gaslighted.  However, remember, as we saw in the Psychology Today list; gaslighting is most often done deliberately. 
2. Gaslighting aims to changes a person character, the trust in them self and experience of reality; while simple manipulation just only changes self-esteem. Scary isn’t it? I am sorry, but you have to look at some of the most recent political rallies and the vicious attacks on what they call the “fake press” or the killing in Charlottesville to see how the character of a group of people has been changed by a gaslighter. 
3. Gaslighting does not always involve anger or intimidation; it can be and often is much subtler. It seems that some gaslighters will shower their victims with special attention but never give them all the attention they need. In bullet 6 of the Psychology Today article the describe it as keeping the victim off-kilter. Other gaslighters will act like they are the victim. Whatever is their modus operando, gaslighters are able to change their victim’s memory, perception of reality and truth (bullets 2, 4, 5 and 7 from above). 
4. It is normal to forget things and gaslighters can easily manipulate your memory. This is what I teach in my classes; I tell my students to “document, document, document.” I tell them I don’t remember what I had for dinner two or three days ago. 
5. There may be three (3) stages to the gaslighting process: 
• You know they are ridiculous, 
• You consider their view, and then 
• You consider their view as normal and lose your ability to make your own judgement.
• Boy, this gets interesting these politically charged days. There was a tweet from our President the other day, telling the attorney general to stop the Russia investigation. This is a direct order and any jury would consider this obstruction of justice. In the past we all thought his tweets were ridiculous, his allies then considered his views, and now his allies don’t even question what he tweeted or even defend him. This is a pure case of gaslighting in my eyes.
• Now I just learned that he told a rally that Putin did not want him to win, while during the press conference Putin said he did (bullets 1 and 2; the first two steps in the process of gaslighting us on a new item or lie isn't it?).
6. Concluding, gaslighters do not give a crap about you, they do not see you. Gaslighters are pure narcissists. 

So what do we do about being gaslighted on a personal level or as a nation?  On a personal level it seems that you don’t win by confrontation; however, you win by ignoring a gaslighter.  Naturally, you need to be strong enough not to be influenced by that person, or not allow him or her to influence you.  

I enjoy watching Morning Joe in MSNBC in the morning  (that is when I have the time).  However, I wonder if Joe and Mika have the right approach.   Naturally they partially sell entertainment, but they desperately try to get under the president's skin.  I wonder what would happen of they completely ignore him for a week and not mention him?  I wonder what would happen if we would do that as a country?  If all the reporters and news networks would not cover him for a week, would he self-destruct?  That would be one way of allowing him not to gaslight us, even only for a week.