Not that it grossed me out or so watching someone shoot up, it just upset me to see someone so young and nice to be so matter of fact about it. He was like: "My grandmother has it, my mother has it, so I knew it was just a matter of time before I developed it." He went on telling me how skinny his grandmother was (he is not that skinny; he is actually a big bear). But, he told me it was to be expected since it was familial. He continued to tell me that the insulin shots actually caused him to gain some weight, which if you believe the books would make a person even more insulin dependent. More than half of the people in my wife's office have the same affliction of being either pre-diabetic or having full-flung type 2, and yes there are a few who also blame their genes or as I sometimes say, "their uncle Bob." But then, I seem to blame anything on Bob!
So I come home with this story nagging my brain, and my wife comes home from the field after talking with a guy who is convinced that he will be dead in a year. All his relatives died by the age of 60 except his father who died at ripe old age of 63, so at the age of 59 he figured his years were limited. In other words, who cares, he might as well throw in the towel, give up and let his life and health go to hell, since he is going to die after all: a self fulfilling prophecy? He basically summoned my wife to get his business in order before he died.
I have just been so bothered by people taking things lying down and taking things spoon fed. When I teach my students I try to help them think, understand and appreciate what lies beneath it all. I want to instill a wonder lust; a curiosity. I know it is often appreciated. Sadly, all that I see lately is people just blindly following demagogues (politicians); they seem to follow the same paths where the rest of the herd is going without asking questions; or even personally concerning themselves, they let their relatives (uncle Bob) and parents rules their health, life and longevity.
Darn it, if I believe this, I should be having treatment for prostrate cancer by now, because that is what my father had at my age. I was tested and I'm doing fine. I also made sure I did not suffer from any brain aneurysms as my mother had and I suspect her mother had. I will "Go my own way" damn it, just like that popular Fleetwood Mac song. I know I need to clean up my life, but then again, I am not as bad as some others that I know. It is such a damn cliche, but such a good one: "getting old is not for sissies," I am stiff, I hurt, but I'm going to fight getting old all the damn way! That is why I sail, why I bike, why I hike, why I blog, practice yoga, try to meditate, live in the moment, and why I still threaten my wife that I will retire when I am 70. It is just that I want to live my life my own way, with my wife and my friends, without people telling me how to live it or what to expect based on some preconceived idea or model.
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