The After Life (4/9/2021)

It has been a little over a year now that all hell broke loose. The now so dreaded Corona virus. We thought it would be a few months when we were told to shelter in place, but here we are, vaccinated and still teleworking, masked when we go out, forever changed. If there ever was a time that we lost our innocence it was this past year.

I read an article in the New York Times on where we to go now: post pandemic. My question is whether we are currently really post pandemic. The Spanish Flue took two years to resolve. Variants are popping up all over the place. However, it really made me think what this year did to me personally, in my relationships with others and in my outlook to the future.

I am happy to report that no one in my direct circle has died of COVID. I know of a few who have contracted the disease. A close friend Chuck who told me he and his wife got it between Christmas and New Year. A colleague of mine got it too. Her husband brought it with him when he visited his father in South Carolina. Thank goodness both just lost their taste and got sick and tired. Unlike with some, their only long-lasting effect seemed to have been the loss of taste and smell. I did hear of friends of friends whose relatives died of COVID, but none too close to me.

How did I change over this past year? For those of you who have been following me, 2020 has been my least productive blog year since I started this blog in 2013. Was I hoping to ever becoming an influencer (reviewing Virginia wineries, breweries, scenic areas, giving lectures and talks), making money and retiring on easy street with this blog? That hope evaporated last year. Only 19 posts, not as many hits as I would hope, and as I mentioned before, I would first need to allow advertising on my blog, something I never have.

So what was the reason? COVID depression? I do not think so; I became more introspective during that year of self-isolation. I tried to stay away from politics although it was difficult especially during an election year, after the killing of George Floyd, and with a virus and election denier like the former occupant of the Whitehouse in power. Not being originally from the U.S. and socially conscious, I ate this all up, but again, I tried not to bore too many of you all with my political views. The result, only 19 posts. Just before Christmas last year, I promised I would write more. However, guess how many post I wrote in March this year. Zero!

What happened the year of COVID and will it change me forever? I really threw myself back on my bonsai hobby. I did not watch more T.V.; I did a little more reading. I still have not finished the book “Overstory”; I pick it up, read it and put it down. I love it, but it is depressing at the same time. I did read the book “Rage” by Bob Woodward. Assuming it was well researched, I found it eye opening, well written and it basically enforced all my political views.

I watched bonsai YouTube channels, almost every evening. COVID depression, right? Alternatively, was it bonsai depression? No such thing, bonsai for me is very important nowadays. Currently, my bonsai trees are my form of therapy or meditation. I walk by my trees at least two or three times a day, examine them closely, and watch the progress. That tree has put out another leaf, oh look what is happening here or there. I am in love with this tree or that one! Finally, after a year of isolation with YouTube and my trees, I finally have the audacity to think that I can design a credible bonsai, know how to take care of them, and to advice someone when they ask a bonsai question on Facebook. This is quite the accomplishment after 33 years of dabbling in the hobby and studying it even longer than that.

I built this bench this past summer and I think I still do not have enough room for my trees.  In the foreground is a privet that I transplanted into this training pot this year.

How else have I changed, or how will I go on post COVID, if there is such a thing? I think I will value my friends more, and ignore those who do not agree with me. Value nature and the environment. I still remember so well how clean and clear the air was in May and June last year when there were so many fewer cars on the road. My wife still hopes I am kidding when I tell her that my next car will be a Tesla or maybe some other electric vehicle. She is a huge environmentalist as well; however, still a bit skeptical about electric vehicles, their range and their capabilities.

For the rest, I need to take care of myself, mentally and physically. During the past year, I lost approximately 10 lbs. This is still not enough in my eyes. I would like to lose another 10. Somehow, I have plateaued (or is it bottomed out?). Walking on average 80,000 steps or more per week according to my Fitbit, appears not to be enough. I need to do more, live healthier. The husband of a friend was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the uncle of my wife recently died at the age of 76, and a dear neighbor was found dead on his doorsteps, a heart attack in his late 70s. All too young; I have this fear that the day I retire I will die of some weird disease or get diagnosed with cancer and have weeks or months to live. Never able to enjoy the fruits of my long (illustrious?) career. In other words, retirement is on my mind. As you know, my last post mentions how much I enjoy my job, teaching and retirement weighs heavy on me. Oh well, hopefully I am not damned if I do and damned if I don’t.