My eulogy/autobiography (7/4/2025)

I just turned 72 and am sitting here on pins and needles waiting for the word that my first grandson was born. This will be a thing of the past by the time this writing will be made public, either as part of a memoire and/or a blog post. Why now, can we blame turning 72, my grandson, or my daughter or her wife for this introspection? I don’t know; it is probably a combination of a lot of things.

I am in a men’s group, and we assigned ourselves the project of writing our own eulogy. If that wasn’t enough, during a birthday get together a good friend asked me all kinds of biographical questions, and unbeknown to me he taped the whole conversation. He showed me that he was recording it after my birthday dinner at a Mexican restaurant. This made me feel self-conscious, and together with the fact that I now will have someone to carry on the torch (a grandson), it made me want to record a little more of mine and my family’s history. I have done a bit of this already in some of my blog posts, and I may refer to them when appropriate. I expect that I will publish sections of this writing in my blog, again in the hope that those of my direct family that comes after me will read it and find it interesting, useful and informative.

Where to start? But below is a section of the eulogy that I wrote for myself or maybe for those celebrating my life on this blue marble once I kick the proverbial bucket.

“What the heck is Kalemi? Well actually it is a town in the far eastern part of Congo. During colonial times it was the Belgium Congo, and the town was named Albertville after one of Belgium’s monarchs. I (my name) was born in that town on June ??, 195?. We are gathered here to celebrate the premature passing of Jan-Willem or as many of his friends knew him “Jan the man.” As he often told us that when at a doctor’s office no one got up when a name was called, it meant it was his turn to see the doctor. Everybody seemed to have difficulties pronouncing his name, and then when “Jan” got up they seemed even more confused. Is Jan a guy?”

Did it frustrate me that folks had difficulties with my name, my first and last name? Not at all, I found it amusing. In its own way it showcased the lack of cosmopolitan experience that I have observed in this country. Living in Cincinnati in the late 1990s I was always tickled when during our first meeting folks would ask me which high school I had graduated from. Like the majority in the area, they had never spread their wings, and they could obviously not fathom that there was actual life outside Cincinnati. Even more fun was when they told you about the great vacation they had in Indiana, a state maybe less than 20 miles to the west. Here in the Hampton Roads, where I currently live, it is a little less narrow-minded, since there is a large concentration of military and ex-military that have spent time in foreign countries on military installations or at war.

During the clandestinely recorded interview our friend Mason wanted to know how the heck I ended up being born in a small town situated on Lake Tanganyika (or now Lake Tanzania). Well, my father had a job there as director of a furniture company. That raised even more questions, so here we need to pause and start with the story of my father, which then raised the question of how my father and mother met. As you can imagine, the questions never ended.

I'll stop here.  If there is a next post it will be about my father before 1948.

Me as a 10-month-old on Lake Tanganika in the Congo

My dad and I around the same time.

Mother and son

Chaos anyone? or the three C-s of this administration. (6/20/2025)

Recently, I read somewhere about the 3C-s of the Republican Administration. It seems that the tRump Whitehouse thrives on:

• Chaos
• Cruelty, and
• Corruption

I would like to add three more C-s:

• Carelessness
• Criminality
• Confusion

Although it seems that chaos and carelessness may be related as are corruption and criminality, but then, the Supreme Court kind of ruled that the president is above it all.

When all fails, the administration can always resort to name calling and accuse others of conduct that they are actually doing. One of the latest was tRump calling Bruce Springsteen and wrinkled old prune and then to think the plump old prune in the Whitehouse is older than Bruce. Moreover, he has a much lower cognitive ability, cannot remember things and has a reduced language ability. But it seems that there is never a dull moment in American politics these days. I am just amazed that every Republican in Congress just rolls over and plays dead; I cannot imagine that they do not see it. Real character is missing or are they afraid of losing their cushy, high paying job?

I have been reading a book on the old Greek and in particular Roman stoic philosophers (A Guide to the Good Life by William B. Irvine). While reading this, I have concluded that tRump and a lot of the folks associated with his regime are simply very unhappy, un-balanced people. Truth be told, if you are happy in your skin and with your life, you do not crave approvement, constant acknowledgement, stroking, bribes, more wealth, more possessions, more power; you do not need to gaslight everybody. I can go on. When you are happy with the situation you are in, you are at peace with yourself, calm, tranquil and you work for the betterment of society, not your financial, social or political standing. Even the portraits he put up of himself show that he is brooding, angry and suspicious. His incessant use of social media illustrates his need for validation and his need for power. He cannot rest on his laurels. He is not tranquil, and I wonder what he is running from or to.

In the past, I mentioned that in order to break him we need to ignore him for a week or maybe even a day or two <here>. Do not mention him in the news, give him complete radio silence. Lack of attention: may be dangerous; he is likely to start a nuclear war just to get in the news; however, it may also give him such a fit that he may perish in loneliness, or lack of attention. For one, he should know that we will all perish one day as was detailed by the senator from Iowa (Jodi Ernst). In full disclosure, I have only watched the (inter)national news probably 3 or 4 times since his election, but I do watch local news and read two national newspapers in which he features prominently. In other words, I have yet to ignore him myself. But then the world seems to go to hell in a hurry; in LA, the Middle East and who knows where else.

Back to the newscasts. I started writing this post at the time of the big divorce between the two buddies tRump and mUsk. Crazy, and as I mentioned, there is something new every day. How should I feel now that the guys that I hate the most have a fall out? I’m not sure, but I definitely do not want vAnce. Maybe it is better that they kiss and make up. And the invasion of LA by his troops. This country is really between a rock and a hard place, isn’t it? That serenity prayer that I wrote about sounds so good (and stoic).

I spend a lot of time in the garden and with my bonsai.  That is the only way I can achieve some sanity and tranquility.

Exhausted and exasperated (5/22/2025)

I feel empty and exhausted. Crazy, considering I sleep well, exercise (walk and bike), have hobbies (I work on at least three or four of my bonsai trees almost daily), do a lot of reading lately, you name it. I have my fair share of friends (or should I call them acquaintances). In other words, I have a full life as a retired dude. Am I depressed? Am I getting old and this is part of slowing down? My diet? I do not know.

Maybe I need more adventures. A few weeks ago, we had a great visit to James River State Park, and that was a welcome diversion. Then we experienced the election of a new pope. He is 69 years old and three years younger than I am. Leo (his newly chosen name) is embarking on a completely new adventure. I guess that in July I will embark on a new adventure as a grandfather and as chairperson (president) of our Unitarian Universalist church board. I have already been made aware of all the potential difficulties I might be getting involved with at church. Grandfathering will hopefully be easier.

I guess it is the incessant news about tRump and his antics that exhausts me the most. There seems to be something else every day ranging from “screw the poor and help the rich" to lining his own pocket with a donated airplane.

One of the books that I am currently reading (I am reading four at the same time) deals with the old Greek and Roman stoic philosophy. Very much like Buddhism, it tells me not to worry about the past (it is over), not about the future (not much we can do about, it is coming whether you like it or not), and don't worry about what is happening right now (it will be a thing of the past in an eye-blink). Remember the idea about never crossing the same creek twice? It is different every time, different water molecules. What is left? Enjoy the moment. The Buddhist say, “live in the moment.” I wish I was able to take that attitude, but it is difficult in today’s sociopolitical climate.

This is probably why it feels so good to have new and different adventures to look forward to. While apprehensive, I am excited about what’s to come. I am thinking about flying west to visit my new (first) grandson. In addition, I have been planning a trip circumnavigating Lake Michigan. We have never visited Wisconsin, and I would love to visit Holland, Michigan. We’ll see if it comes to fruition.

I think it is very important to have new adventures in life and not to stagnate. In many of my posts I write about never stopping to learn (one example is here and here). But I get 543 posts when I enter the word learn in my blog search bar. I think it crucial to keep learning and develop your critical thinking skills.

I read somewhere that the reason why time seems to go faster when you grow older is that you do not experience anything new that needs to be processed by the brain. Young folks, on the other hand, need to process all the new experiences and therefore the time seems to go much slower. What am I trying to explain here? New experiences at an older age slow down the perceptual time. In other words, I am looking forward to all these new adventures (new experiences) and growing old slower.

So many folks in this and a lot of other countries have given up on experiencing new things, on learning. They act like sheep, being herded by a dog or even a shepherd (read authoritarian leasers like tRump). It appears that they have lost their ability to think on their own, although they still think that they are thinking on their own. They are just following what the demagogues, the gas lighters or dictators tell them.

I don’t care if you are liberal, conservative, have a different sexual orientation, black, white or purple, we all need to keep learning, experience new things, think and question what we read, see or hear on the television or get from social media. Reading, learning and bonsai is how I am trying to fight my exhaustion.

One of my trees that I have been working on (a water birch)

Serenity please (5/8/2025)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have a friend whose adult son is addicted to fentanyl. He has been kicked out from rehab clinics for the stupidest things such as giving (selling?) cigarettes at the clinic he was in for rehab (yes, he was stupid). His son now lives out of his car in Richmond; he refuses help from his father and is still using drugs whenever he can. My friend was told that he is essentially helpless and just must wait till his son either dies or genuinely asks his father for help and to put him in rehab again. In the meantime, my friend’s counselor told him to pray. The problem is that he does not believe in a god, and we had a long discussion on prayer. We concluded that the best would be to recite the serenity prayer that I started out with in this post.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

My wife and I are extremely upset by what the current occupier of the White House is doing. So much so that when we watch some of the comics making fun of tRump or mUsk and accomplices, she gets even more upset. We refuse to watch the national news shows any longer, although we do read the New York Times and the Washington Past. She is getting more and more distressed. I told her to recite the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have adopted a more Buddhist attitude: you cannot do anything about the past (or dwell on it), you cannot impact or be worried about the future (or get upset about it). However, best is to try to live in the present and enjoy the shit show!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Maybe a strange way of living; and yes, I get pissed about what these people and the republican house and senate are doing. The only thing that I can do about it is to contact my elected officials, to demonstrate, and to advertise my displeasure in my writings, postings and interaction with people.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

As I promised in my latest post, I will continue writing and let you know where my heart is and what’s going on in my mind and heart. We are living in difficult times; USAID, the EPA, NOAA, Social Security, health and money items more are being assailed by these nuts, they want the clearcut and mine our national parks and monuments. They are going after art and education, planning to turn museums into prisons. This all feels very much like what happened in the 1920s and 30s in Germany; and we know what that led to. They built their first concentration camp in Poland, the republicans built one in El Salvador. Nicely out of the way of the public in both cases (the 30s and now). So don’t get me wrong, I am angry and upset; however, I keep reminding myself to “enjoy the shit show.”

One more time: 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Last week we spent some time at James River State Park near Gladstone, VA.  It was so nice to be off the grid and enjoy the night sky in this dark sky park,

April 2025 Update (4/16/2025)

I have been laying low, lately. This is partially because of the current political climate. I don’t want to have a knee jerk reaction to all the things I read in the news and then need to retract it, as seems to be the rule in the current administration in the Whitehouse. In addition, there has been a lot of things going on in my life. To start with, I was asked to teach a course for an outfit in Northern Virginia, like I have done in the past. This required a lot of extra time developing a course. While that was taking up a lot of my time, I got the request whether I was willing to serve as president of the “Board of Stewards” of our Unitarian Church. After some deliberation I agreed to step forward and volunteer for that position. Leading a church is a huge job and I have been slowly preparing for it. The job will start on July 1. However, I am already being sucked into it and I am reading Roberts Rule of Order. Lastly, I am going back to the Lochsa lodge (ID) and Clay Jenkinson this coming winter to talk about “Thomas Jefferson and the West.” This requires me to read all kinds of non-fiction works on and by Jefferson, although interesting, it is not something I have done a lot in the past and it is therefore not completely in my wheelhouse. I just enjoy the American west and even written a published essay about the relationship between the east coast and the “wild west.” This and the presidency will require a steep learning curve.

Let me assure you that I do not plan on quitting writing. Things may slow down in the next few months, I really do not know. Am I afraid of commenting on the political climate in these posts? Hell no, I do a lot of editorializing on Facebook, Threads, and my Bluesky accounts, and I am not afraid of being targeted by anyone. I am sure they have much larger fish to fry. Although I might have wanted to be an influencer and monetize on my ramblings, I realize now that my readership is very limited (last month I had 6897 hits and this month only 131), and I don’t reach a lot of folks. Moreover, I have given up on the idea of getting rich from my writings.

So why am I doing this? The Unitarian Universalist Kurt Vonnegut (one of my favorites) supposedly said/wrote this:

“Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what's inside you, to make your soul grow.”

That sums it up for me. This blog is somewhat of a diary and a way to blow off steam, to vent my anger and anxieties. Being a consummate teacher, I also try to educate you. It will hopefully make my soul grow, keep me young and hopefully, and if you are able to read this far into this post, maybe you are too and hopefully you will learn a little from my ramblings. I am not going to change the world, we need to do this together, and soon it will be up to you.

Participating in support of the democracy in our country