Not knowing what you want (9/29/2021)

My last installment I wrote about the crossroads I was at and my trip to Maine. During this trip, I had time to hike, and spend a lot of time in nature. The area we visited in Maine has a lot of natural preserves owned by foundations that are open to the public, which were absolutely wonderful. We also visited the arboretum in Augusta and a State Park. Everything to do with nature and plants really floats my boat. My daughter and I spent our time identifying ferns and looking at other plants.

One of the photographs I took in coastal Maine at the Wolfe's Neck Woods State Park.  One of the few state run places.

Vacations are nice that way; no pressure to watch the news, my daughter and partner cooked, and I had more time to catch up on my reading. Just great therapy for a few days before getting back to the grind of working. I am reminded of the fact why many folks in Europe have six weeks vacations compared to our measly one to three weeks. I strongly believe that vacation actually increases the productivity at work. I have noticed that mine has gone up these two weeks since I have been back. In the past, I explained to my supervisor that when I get stuck in my course design, it is best for me to go for long walks in the woods and mull things over. Honestly, I am not kidding, I really play things out in my head while walking; ideas come to me, away from the computer.

But that is really not what I was planning to write about in this post this time. Or maybe it is all related.

What I did want to write more about is those crossroads, my time in Maine and what I am reading at the moment. During our walks, I tried to explain to my daughter that one of the things I would love to do is become a certified forest bathing therapist. I explained to her what it was and what therapists do. You are supposed to take an expensive course to be able to call yourself a therapist, and I am sure you are considered a charlatan if you sell yourself as a therapist without the official certification, or worse, you can get sued by some forest bathing association.

That somehow gets me to the book I am reading and the quote that struck me and was the prompt for this post: “The problem with not knowing what you want is that you want everything.” I found this in a book written by Scott Stillman entitled “Nature’s Silent Message.” Darn it, you may want to put “to do” behind the words “want” and you have me, or as my mother always accused me to know a little about a lot (too many things) and be “a master of nothing.” I have been told that I am a darn decent teacher and hopefully I try to research the subjects I teach enough that I am credible as well. I study a lot of bonsai videos, but I still consider myself a dilettante. The writing I am doing here for this blog never really took off; probably because I am all over the place and not focused enough. I have 200 to 300 steady readers; I am definitely not an influencer, and neither is my Instagram site. But then, do I want to be that, or just comfortable with a few steady readers?

I realize that the critique of Stillman’s book is that it meanders and is all over the place, and so is my blog, I am afraid. But hopefully is has a common thread or in the end it comes back where I started. I just wonder if I need to focus, just on my bonsai; or on my teaching; on my environmental stance and opinions; on my biological and ecological background; on nature or forest bathing; on (god forbid) my political views; empathy; on sailing ( which I have had no time for the past two years); on my love for wine and microbrews; food and cooking; on reading; or just on (my) life and musing on what is going on around me. If you look at my subject list it is exhaustive. Crazy!

I would love to hear from you all what you think, what you prefer to read. Because I know that if I do not know what to write about (or what you all want me to write about) I will want to write about everything, to paraphrase Mr. Stillman. The story of my multifarious life.

Although I rarely post a selfie in my blog, here it is.  A happy Maine picture, waiting for lunch.